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stbx refuses mediation

  • sulkypants
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23 Apr 12 #326093 by sulkypants
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You have to get a Consent Order past a judge not as easy as it seems.

  • Tets
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23 Apr 12 #326095 by Tets
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Divorce and finances are separate matters, the reasons for the divorce have no influence over how financial matters are resolved except in extreme cases.

  • WhiteRose
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24 Apr 12 #326261 by WhiteRose
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pgh wrote:


Am I being cyncial but since she went to a Collaborative Lawyer we went from a 2 year seperation to grounds for unreasonable behaviour?
Am I not correct in thinking that after a two year seperation when the divorce is applied for then a consent order is also is granted when applied for?
Is this an opening gambit in negotiations?

It could very well be a recommendation to go for UB to get things underway asap. Just be aware a Petitioner for UB can apply for costs - your first negotiation is to say you were happy to wait for 2 years and if she must go for UB, you''ll agree as long as she doesn''t make an application for costs.

After Divorce anyone can apply for a Consent Order - it doesn''t matter which grounds you use; 2 year sep, UB, Adultery etc.

A Consent Order is the Financial Agreement - you can agree between you, using the CL or in Court - a Judge looks at the Consent Order and considers its ''fairness'' - if it seems fair they rubber stamp it, so it needs to be adhered to. Once its rubber stamped, it can''t be amended, changed or re-negotiated, so you need to understand any long term commitments before agreeing.

Have a look at this step by step link describing the process, Divorce (ending the marriage), Financial and Childcare arrangements are all dealt with separately;



  • hawaythelads
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24 Apr 12 #326266 by hawaythelads
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It would seem that your wife doesn''t want to wait two years to get the divorce.

Personally and this is with the benefit of hindsight I would just get on with it.
mediation ain''t worth the paper it''s written on.
The woman always pulls the I felt bullied card and reneges on the agreement made at mediation.It''s not legally binding.
Let your wife call the shots or you won''t progress this anywhere.
If she wants to cite you for ub let her.
that will generally be your a wife beating alcoholic or perhaps slightly more moderate if you are a tea total pacifist tree hugger but still along them lines.
Sign it move on noone ever sees it again ever.
Then she has already stated she wants to do the collabarative law so you can''t bully her go with it.
I guarantee even going with it she''ll still be a typical woman wanting to fleece you for a lot more than 50/50 and even when she gets it she''ll still be like the dog with the bone looking in the lake,and still have to go to court just to waste another £30k so she was absolutely sure she''d fecked you for every last penny.
Go with it let her call the shots and have fun thinking that Haway bloke was fecking right.
All the best
His royal Hawayness xx

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