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Access to FMH for visiting children

  • Hepialid
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17 Jun 17 #493438 by Hepialid
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I have what I think is a simple request, but not doubt will be somewhat complicated.

I own the FMH and it is in my sole name. I left when we separated two years ago. As the divorce is dragging on and incurring large legal fees, I have been unable to afford my own place that would be suitable for also having my two boys over to stay comfortably. My ex wife lives in the FMH and is dragging her feet at every stage of the process. I have paid for the FMH since separating in lieu of child maintenance, so that my kids have at least some stability and familiar environment to stay in.

My request was to spend more quality time with my boys, for more than a few hours at the weekend. I requested that my ex wife vacates the property for the weekend, so that I can stay and enjoy extended quality time with my boys. Am I being unreasonable or requesting anything that is unlawful? I don't believe I am and she can easily stay with her parents not far away for that period.

Thanks in advance for your advice and thoughts.

  • Bubblegum11
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17 Jun 17 #493439 by Bubblegum11
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I can see your point of view and need to have more quality time with the children. But I don't think I would go along with this suggestion if I were in your wife's shoes. This is her home which you are asking her to leave for a whole weekend. Usually I have a million things to do around the house over the weekends like grocery shop, cleaning and laundry etc.

If there is no injuction, you probably have more chance of going back to the house to see the kids at weekends whilst she is there. Maybe she won't want to be under the same roof as you and go out for the day anyway and leave you to it?

Is the amount you are paying for the mortgage over the amount calculated by the CMS?
What are your living arrangements at the moment?

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17 Jun 17 #493444 by Hepialid
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Thanks for the reply Bubblegum.

She isn't working and refuses to do so, whilst happily living off what I have to pay for the house and some benefits. She can easily go to her parents place up the road. I'm living in shared accommodation at present, with nothing more than a sofa to offer my kids, if they want to sleep over.

The amount I'm paying for the house and some bills, is slightly more than my child maintenance requirements. I'm happy to look after my kids, but I don't want to pay for her laziness.

We have a mutual agreement that I can see the kids at anytime, as long as it's convenient. I wanted to see them more at weekends and this to me seemed a reasonable compromise and request.

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17 Jun 17 #493445 by Under60
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I can't see any harm in asking, however, if it was me in the wife's shoes, I wouldn't want my ex staying after 2 years apart in my home, snooping through my things, and disturbing my life.
Probably best to get the financial settlement sorted, so then you could hopefully have a home each?
Are you able to have them at your parents/siblings for the weekend?

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17 Jun 17 #493451 by Hepialid
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I am seeking a reaction, to try and get the financial settlement resolved as quickly as possible.

All of my family live hundreds of miles away and it's not straight forward. I have tried this in the past though.

I'm not interested in snooping through the house.

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