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Husband has non molestation and against me!

  • Blondie73
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1 year 8 months ago #505890 by Blondie73
Hello new here so be gentle with me.My abusive,clever and controlling husband had me arrested last year for assault on 5th November even though it was him who had assaulted me and has done this several times before.I was arrested and taken to custody and charged the next day with assault.Because the property is in his sole name,he bought it 12 years ago before with got married(we have been married 3 1/2 years) the police took me back to the property and I had 10 minutes to get some essential pocessions and sent me on my way to my Mothers cottage where she has very limited space.
ON 6th Dec I had a non molestation order and an occupation order served on me at my Mums by a very intimidating man.When I read my husbands statement I could not believe what I was reading.He listed the 3 worse times he had been assaulted by me(even though it was the other way round)that and that he was scared to even take our dog for a walk incase I attacked him and he was in imminent danger from me!I have never hit any one in my life and he is a strong stocky man who can look after himself.
I prepared my own statement and made sure the courts got it and then we had to go to the family court on 28th DEC.He turned up an hour and a half late but this didn't go against him.The judge hadn't read my statement and barely looked at it and said it had to stand for a year.If I wanted any processions I had to write a list of what I needed and email it to my husband!
To cut a long story short I was found not guilt of assault by beating on the 22nd Jan where the judge saw right through him and said he was a cocky,arrogant man using the Justice system for his own entertainment.
THis should be the end of it but I'm not allowed within 50yards of my house.When we first got married I used my £30,000 savings on an extension and renovations.I am still paying for sofas I have in there but can't go near them.
Is it easy to get a non mon molestation lifted as I have gone past the 21 days you have to appeal.I don't want to live there ever again but I would like to be able to sort my property and processions sorted and get the divorce under way.
He has phoned me and said he will start to chuck my things out which I am waiting to report to the police now.

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  • spinit
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1 year 8 months ago #505895 by spinit
If you don't want to live there again then why do you need to get the non-occupation order lifted?

You would be better off contacting his lawyer and asking if some 3rd party can come and pick up items that you own. If they say no then you could take it from there but you have already been allowed in to collect personal items if you are asking can you take sofa's and so on then where will you put them given you say your living at your mothers.

In short childless marriages, you generally take out what you put in so you may be better off focusing on getting the divorce going and then negotiating a financial settlement with your ex.

After everything is settled wait a few years and then apply to have the non-molestation and non-occupation order lifted as by then everything will have calmed down and you will have established your own place to stay and nobody will be thinking that lifting the non-occupation order is part of some plan for you to move back.

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1 year 8 months ago #505929 by Blondie73
Replied by Blondie73 on topic Re:Husband has non molestation and against me!
Thanks for your answer.I don't think 5 minutes with a police man following you round the house is enough time to grab many personal items,just a few clothes!I have paperwork there and many personal items I need .If I was allowed in just to get things like this it would be better than nothing.
MY Husband does not have a lawyer but I was speaking to mine today and she thinks I can contest the non molestation order as I have been found not guilty of any domestic violence and I can prove that his statement was full of lies.Also he has been ringing me threatening me that he will throw my pocessions out and I will end up with no money so that is enticing me to break my court orders.

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1 year 8 months ago #505932 by spinit
So I had to give an undertaking not to enter my property and not to molest my ex. I was given the option either I could contest the situation given she had made up a bunch of lies or just give the undertaking. My lawyer was very happy for me to contest it as I was effectively saying to the lawyer do you want some more work so yes, of course, they would say yes and I was equally if not more indignant than you. In the end, I decided not to and the consequence was that my ex was able to claim legal aid but she may have been able to do that anyway given the bar is pretty low but she had an order related to domestic violence so that was enough. This was some years ago and a couple of years ago I went to court and got the non-molestation undertaking withdrawn and when my ex moves out of the house I will get the non-occupation undertaken withdrawn.

What would be the goal of getting the orders lifted right now apart from to make you feel better which is a reasonable goal but to do that at the moment you will have to pay a fair bit of cash to your lawyer and put yourself through a fair bit of stress going to court and so on. When I got the non-molestation order lifted I did all the court stuff myself and spoke in court myself so it just cost me £200 to file the court application paperwork.

If there are other items you need and he is wanting to throw them out could you arrange for him to leave them somewhere or think of some way that doesn't require you to enter the property as if that is what your real goal is then it will cost you hundreds of pounds in legal expenses to try to get that order lifted and if you put your ex through court etc then the likelihood is he will just throw them away and claim they were never there and then what will you do?

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1 year 8 months ago #505940 by Forseti
Can I suggest not posting here under your real name (if you have) as you never know who may be reading. You've made some serious allegations which may prove awkward if they are raised in future proceedings (I've no doubt you are being absolutely accurate!).

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