Hi, my partner has been separated for almost 3 years now. They have a Separation Agreement in place and one of the terms is that no other female/male can stay over when the children are present (I.e., I don’t stay over when my partner has his kids, same applies to his STBX).
We’ve recently found out that his STBX has been having her boyfriend staying over several times a week while she has custody of the kids AND that she has taken the youngest (6yr) to stay over at her boyfriend’s house.
Clearly this is a breach of the separation agreement - what do we do now? What is the likely consequence of his STBX breaking the agreement?
Last edit: 04 Oct 20 by LoubbyLou123. Reason: Spelling mistake!
What do you want to happen? 100% custody to the other parent? Financial penalty?
Or maybe, 3 years, realise that having clauses like that are the parents fighting each other rather than thinking of the children in the first place and all move on as adults showing children how to have meaningful relationships?
Enforcement would depend on the exact wording of the clause, and why the clause is there in the first place - if it's for safeguarding issues, then it would be appropriate for your partner to speak to his solicitor about the process of enforcement, and what the likelihood is of an application being successful.
This is quite an unusual clause, and if it's not for safeguarding issues then it's quite Draconian as it essentially seeks to limit each parent's actions and choices. If there are no safeguarding concerns, it may be better to look at the possibility of having the cause removed altogether so that each person can parent in the way they see fit (having Parental Rights and Responsibilities allows for some unilateral decision making, including with whom and where a child will be with during that parent's allocated time).
Hi, it’s always been to safeguard the children, particularly the youngest one. It was actually my partners STBX that requested the clause however both parties agreed that the introduction of a new partner to the kids would be done gradually and with the full knowledge of the other party - that’s the real issue here, there was no communication about the new partner being introduced into the kids life. Then to add to that bringing the new partner overnight into the family home and taking one of the kids to the new partners house for sleepovers without the actual parent knowing or consenting.
Nobody wants to ‘punish’ the STBX for breaking the agreement, we all just want to find a way forward that keeps the kids safe and puts there interests at heart. The reason this came to light is because the 2 older kids have told their mum that they don’t want her new partner staying over as much. She has decided not to do anything therefore the kids confided in their dad what was happening.
Ultimately my partner/their dad will have to go to his solicitor for advice on how to proceed.