Decree Nisi

My wife and I are divorcing and I'm trying to keep everything as amicable as possible. I still cook meals for her (she has never cooked), we sleep in the same bed, I currently pay the bills, washing, ironing etc (BTW I've retired)I've completed the form E and I've been told by a friend that the Decree Nisi can't be issued until we lead seperate lives but under the same roof. Whilst I can understand that where couple aren't speaking it seems crazy to me when we're trying to "keep the piece". We both want to get divorced it just doesn't make sense to cause waves and at the end cause ill feeling towards each other. Is my friend correct. Thanks for any advice.

You will need to have two years of living separate lives if you are to divorce on the grounds of two years' separation. The sensible thing would be for one of you to divorce the other for unreasonable behaviour. You can agree which one of you will do it and what behaviour is cited. It doesn't have to be damning and anyway isn't seen beyond the court so doesn't spoil anyone's public reputation or anything.

Are you sure you actually want to divorce? If you are still sharing a bed you must be getting on pretty well.

Best wishes,
Sadie

Thanks Sadie, The Petition has been served and I'm assuming that once the financial arrangements start getting negotiated then things may take a turn for the worse with regards to our relationship. I'm at the stage now where I just want to move on. Life is way too short to stay with someone who longer makes you happy and you no longer make then happy. Hence the question regarding the decree nisi

If a Judge becomes aware of your current arrangement, the divorce will not be granted.

Cooking for each other and sharing the same bed are not actions which separated parties do. You will have to come to terms with this at some stage so it may as well be now by agreement rather than later when you find yourself in the peculiar position of being divorced yet living together as a married couple, albeit in a utilitarian manner.

Charles

Is not loving each other in a non-utilitarian way unreasonable behaviour and grounds for divorce?
I know of several long apparently happy marriages thriving on separate beds and no mutual grooming or cooking.
Are they in effect "separated"?

But the people of which you speak are not seeking to divorce. Should they wish to do so, they shouldn't have any difficulties.

In this situation the court will view the parties as being married and living joint lives therefore the divorce cannot proceed as there is no irretrievable breakdown or any breakdown at all.

Charles

Thanks for the advice. I think the thing that will "force" the issue will be the financial settlement. Once that's sorted, hopefully within the next 6 weeks, I'll be able to buy a house and move out. Once that's done the decree Nisi can proceed. I feel I'm in a lot better situation that most, so although it's sad it's not intolerable.....at the moment.