Court threat

Hi End.

Your can only take you to court to settle the financial stuff once she has the Nisi and I dont think she has even started divorce proceeding yet??

Or is the threat to take you to court to try and get you to move out of the house in some way? Just remain calm and dont allow her to get to you.

It sometimes feels like I am an imposter on here as we are not married just cohabitee''s and most of the site is obviously geared to divorce. My problem is still the same though and all help is appreciated as I seek the best solution for my children and I.

Dont be silly, just because you werent married doesnt mean you cant get advise.

Not sure what the situation would be regarding getting you to leave the house when your not marriage.

Do you both own the house? If you do then she will still have to take you to court to make you move out. She just wont need to wait until Nisi.

Can either of you afford to buy the other out?

I would write to her solicitor and state you wont be moving out.

Are you on the children birth certificates? If you are then you both have equal responsibility to look after the children.

Yes I''m on the birth cert''s and the children share my surname as one day we expected to marry.

The house is held as joint tenants. I put most if not all the deposit down from my savings but have no proof sadly.

I can''t afford to buy her out and she seems to think she can afford to buy me out which suggests to me she has been stashing money for a few years in secret as I can''t understand how she thinks she can afford it.

I struggle to understand how she can ask me to move out when she knows the only place I could afford to go is to my mum''s, when I''m not the one who has had multiple affairs and would like to think a fair judge would think the same as she earns more and is on incremental rises for the next few years where I''m at the top of my grade. Also she could move in with one of her many new man friends?

All you can do at the moment is stay put and tell her No your not moving out.

At the end of the day if the relationship is over, the house will have to be sold (or if she can buy you out of your share.) but until a court forces the issue you are entitled to live there and there is nothing she can do.

Unless she successful proves that ''''your a threat'''' which as long as you stay cool and dont react will be difficult for her to do.

She wants out then she needs to make arrangements to move out.

You need to stay strong, why should you end up at your mum''s just because it makes life easier for her.

She can send as many solicitors letter telling you leave as she wants, all you can do is reply saying NO. You have a legal right to live in the house.

If and when you decide to move out, it will be your decision based on whats best for your children (living in a war zone wont be a long term solution.) but it needs to when you both have decided whats best for the children long term.

Does the house has much equity? How large a mortgage does it have?

Little equity that would soon dissappear in sol''s and court fees.

If I accept her current offer i''m probably looking at 2 yrs of hard saving while at my mum''s to provide a new home for my time with our children. This all being at the time my mum has finally bit the bullet and decided to downsize which us moving in will throw a spanner in the works of.

While she will have a home ready for purpose that the children know and love and that Daddy decorated, looked after and bought most of the stuff for.

Any way I can''t afford the £90k mtge on my own so the only argument I have is I deserve more of a settlement so I can start again.

She will simply state she can''t afford to pay me more and so I either accept the offer or run up silly legal fees trying to get more.

Answering my own question it seems only realistic option is to accept her offer as much as it galls me and feels like she wins again.

If she is the higher income earner she will be unable to play the ''''I need more because I have the children'''' card.

As your not married i would think that you would be entitled to half of the equilty as shared tennants. If she is offering less than that you dont move out.

Why should you?