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Lost faith in the family court

  • freeagain2011
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10 May 12 #329710 by freeagain2011
Topic started by freeagain2011
Bit of background, since my wife and I split I have been in temp accommodation and have not been able to fulfil the normal alternate weekend stayover with the children. So, the arrangement is such that I have them one day per weekend and one whole weekend per month where I normally take them to my parents (it’s a long journey). My ex agreed whilst this is not ideal (I also agree) it is in fact working quite well and has been for over a year.

In January this year, after a disagreement, my wife informed me that she would like to start the alternate weekend arrangement. My housing situation has not changed and therefore I could not fulfil. We ‘disagreed’ and my wife withdrew contact entirely stating I had to obtain a court order to see the children again.

So, I was forced to take my wife to court to sort out precise arrangements for the children. I self repped. Whilst the judge acknowledged the alternate weekend arrangement was the norm, he understood my predicament and made a judgement based on the current arrangement and also adjourned the hearing until the end of July where it would be reviewed. My housing situation has not changed.

Since that court hearing my wife has tried every trick under the sun to frustrate contact with the children. A few examples, I turn up to pick them up, no-one home. I return them at the scheduled time, no-one home. My wife doesn’t turn up to pick them up. All the time stating the children need to be cared for by me if she is unable to receive them at home or pick them up.

We are divorcing, but the sticking point is the finances – she cannot buy me out of the FMH and there really isn’t enough to rehouse us both if it is sold and the children are fairly young, 6 & 9. Therefore I must rebuild on my own, however renting privately at the moment is simply not affordable.

We have another hearing at the end of July, I simply do not want to go. I am worn out by all of this. My wife is going to try and force an arrangement I simply cannot fulfill and I really don’t have much faith in the family court. At the last hearing I asked to have more telephone contact with the children at which point the judge said it would be ‘quite intrusive’ and ruled against. I used to have regular phone and skype contact – all that was withdrawn by my wife. I recently set up an email account for my eldest son on his own Ipod touch, she deleted his account when she found out we were emailing each other.

I want to withdraw from the battle (not the childrens lives) and let her play her games, all she has to do is deny she has behaved in this way.

How do I inform the court I no longer want to attend the hearing?


  • jonathancj
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11 May 12 #329971 by jonathancj
Reply from jonathancj
You actually need the court''s permission to withdraw an application. While I understand your weariness with all this, your children need you. Have you made a diary of all the shenanigans around pick up and drop off? Has anyone issued a financial application? Is there any timetable regarding that?

  • freeagain2011
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11 May 12 #329983 by freeagain2011
Reply from freeagain2011
I know, the children need me. I will never withdraw from them. But the weariness is the court process.....and given the fact I have no faith. We go to court again, the ex denies everything or simply gets a slap on the wrist....but more importantly...continues the games. My point is going to court won''t stop that happening!
As for financial application...she rattles her sabre now and again but has yet to issue Form-A. I know I can issue form-a but the plain vanilla fact is yes, she is in a 4 bed, 2 bath house...but if it were sold there would not be enough equity to rehouse us both. We have tried mediation, it was not productive. Been going on for well over a year now...am tired of it all I just want to have regular contact with the kids, uninterrupted, in a place I can call my own....and move on with my life!

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