advice on court proceedings

Hi,
My ex''s solicitor is playing silly devils and has advised my ex to start court proceedings against me as contested hearing to place an order on the house that it is to be sold. Plus she will have a greater split of the equity and more than half of my pension. An order will be made for me to pay all associated costs.

I''ve been trying to reach a resolution but he isn''t willing to negotiate and not backing down on his wish list. Sadly my ex is so gullible that she hangs on to every word he says. Same with her mother. Without sounding disrespectful, they would both be like dumb and dumber in the solicitors office.

What would be the timeframe for a court hearing to take place and what will happen? I can''t afford legal support so going it alone

My solicitor told me a frequently employed strategy was to "sell" an unreasonable outcome to the client which then makes a sensible deal hard to achieve. The gullible client then instructs legal action that doesn''t succeed but will fund the solicitor''s next foreign holiday.

I know of someone who''s ex offered them £10k, probably on a 50:50 split although I don''t know what the basis for the £10 was.

Their solicitor advised they''d get the lady far more ... they did, £12k. of course, she had by then run up a £10 legal bill.

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Oddly, what people seem to overlook is that prior to the line being drawn in the sand for valuing the "family pot" all money and all spending is effectively joint. Once that line is drawn, you will discuss/argue how to split up what was owned on the date chosen as the date to value assets / use for bank balances etc. That''s because money spent prior to a formalized statement of savings calculation of the marital pot etc is by and large ignored by the legal process.

the quicker you do that, the sooner whatever she spends on legal bills can be apportioned to her alone rather than you you as a couple.


I wouldn''t trigger court action, but the form E gives a good framework by asking all the questions and helping you to gather all the info. Once its agreed whatever she spends will come out of her share. Then just keep saying no.

(can someone else help - can this be made "agreed" and "non-negotiable" via signing it thru solicitors and not via the courts; we used form E but went through mediation).

Understanding the reasoning behind the proposal is important. Generally the aim is to leave both parties living the same standard of living rather than a mathematical 50:50 split. No one can give an informed opinion about the reasonableness without knowing the relevant details ~ the value if any assets and liabilities held jointly, respective incomes, duration of the relationship (marriage + any cohabitation before), ages, the number of any children, their ages and the number of overnights they spend with each parent.

In ordinary cases it''s common for the lower income spouse (particularly if they have the responsibility for housing children the majority of the time) to be awarded more than 50% of any liquid assets because they do not have the same capacity to raise a mortgage.

The capital value of a pension or the income stream it provides can be shared. To achieve an equalisation of income the capital may need to be shared in different proportions from 50:50.

In financial remedy proceedings usually each party pays there own costs, although litigation misconduct when someone doesn''t comply with court rules and procedures, pursues or defends issues unreasonably and causing unnecessary hearings can be penalised by being ordered to pay the other sides costs. It is also possible for someone who cannot raise the funds for a solicitor to be awarded a Legal Services Order for the other spouse to pay their costs for legal services when the other spouse has resources.

We went through mediation and fortunately managed to avoid the court route.

On who pays the costs aspect, although I''m 100% certain that Fiona is right in saying that each party pays its own costs, that is in practice only after a Form E is lodged. Up until then its just a big swirling mess. Both mine and my ex''s solicitors bills were paid as we went along (no choice is there), and because they were paid before form E was agreed between us, it decremented each of our bank balances so in reality we both shared the legal bills - unwittingly maybe, but we did. The only bills we paid individually were those run up after form E was agreed.

In my case we spent a year of arguing before setting an effective date for determining bank balances etc a date subsequently used for all future calculations.

This was done with a good mediator (solicitor led mediation)and we each listed the balances of sole and joint bank balances as they were at that date. We had both spent money on solicitors by then and that was simply water under the bridge.

Money spent on solicitors after that date was, like any other spending, personal and not joint. The settlement we reached was based on how much money we had at the calculation date set by the mediator - basically the date of the meeting when we agreed the way forward. Obviously that is not the date the Consent Order is approved.

I suspect that had meditation broken down for us, our informally agreed form E would have been worthless and if my ex had taken a world cruise it would have been well - tough.

So the question then is, if one wishes to avoid the formal court route, which as everyone will agree should be the last resort, is there anyway to get a form E approved / sworn by affidavit etc prior to the formal court hearing process - and then if the mediation breaks down simply get it adopted by the court at the relevant time ?

If it was possible to get a form E made into a sworn document somehow, then should a stbx blow loads on expensive holidays etc, it is easy to prove it was their money they spent and not the martial pot. Easy because both sides will have agreed very early on what the marital assets / debts were.



Fiona, is this possible ?

I have tried on countless times to reach a settlement of all finances. My ex continues to work part time and is refusing to seek full time employment. My kids are teenagers now yet she wants to continue working 3 hours a day in the morning. Because of this, when they look at earnings potential for both parties over the coming years, of course I stand to earn a lot more as I work full time and on a good salary. Although I will find out in the next few months if I will be losing my job due to redundancy.
I have offered her the amount of money she indicated that she wanted from the house. 50% of my pension. I will clear the marital debts as they are in my name. I have £9k on a credit card that was for my legal fees and had to stop further support as I cannot afford it. I will clear that. Her legal fees have been funded by her mother so they are up to date with theirs. I didn''t have the funds or a generous family member to pay mine.
What I have also asked for is that she pays the admin fee on the pension sharing, clears her own debt and waits until August for the settlement so I can achieve a mortgage. I am now being classed as acting unreasonable and therefore an application has been made to the court for contested hearing. Her solicitor is stating that they will apply for more equity, more pension and an order for me to pay all of her legal costs. She has something called an iceberg client loan and that is increasing by the week.
It is just totally unfair that they are going to try and force me to sell my home. My parents paid for the extension by way of a loan and that has therefore increased the value substantially. Even if I am left with some equity, I need to clear the debt and reimburse my parents £30k.
What is becoming very clear and I wish my ex would realise it too, is that her solicitor had no intentions of agreeing to a settlement out of court. He has manipulated her way of thinking and decision making so much for his own greed. He has already made a small fortunue from this case and with pending court action, he must be rubbing his hands together. All this money wasted when the agreement was there months and months ago.
I always thought solicitors aimed to reach an outcome whereby it was favourable to both parties. In this case, the guy just wants me financially ruined so his client has no disruption in her life at all. She left the marriage because she desires more. Always compared our life, our home, our car to what other people have and was never satisfied. So now she wants to have this new life and making me pay for it.
I don''t want things to go to court as I know they will rule in her favour because she is the primary carer of the children. I just hope that having a joint custody arrangement of them that they also recognise that I need a certain level of income to provide a suitable home for me and kids when I have them.
Sorry to rant on. I am just so frustrated that my situation has come to this

You need to retake the initiative. Sadly, that probably means the court route.

Fiona, there must be some way for legally "freezing" the size of the martial pot - that is what form E does. From then on its her legal bill, her loan, her problem.

Form E has this effect because outstanding loans are listed on form E. Once form E is approved, people can''t add loans to it (unless they can somehow have the court consent on form E nullified.

Her solicitor won''t want that to happen as he is currently spending your money as well as hers.

make sure that you write child support into the agreement, and that you call it child support in the consent order as it will be applied at a later date if you don''t. If the maintenance you thought was for the children gets called something other than child support, you''d end up paying CS twice.

Everything you have mentioned seems very reasonable to my ears apart from the waiting until August. If I was on the other side and this agreement had been in place for a while and someone wanted me to wait another 7 months it would push my buttons too! Maybe try and offer an earlier deadline and see if that eases her concerns?