FDR worth maxing out credit cards.

I''m on here a lot

I have self represented up to this point but the FDR is in March.
Ex agrees that a transfer of property for a Clean Break is how we should proceed but as. I cannot release him from the mortgage he wants the property sold. A best endeavour clause is not acceptable to him and for this reason alone he will not agree to settle.
I don''t work and I have a 6 and 7 year old.

The stress is causing me extreme problems and my mental health is suffering.

My ex has a solicitor and I''m finding everything very traumatic
My partner has witnessed just how badly I''m suffering and has offered to max out his credit card to get help with the fDR

I''ve been quoted £1200 and this is literally every penny we have
If we don''t settle at the FDR that''s it I''m back to self representation

My question is where is the money better spent the FDR
Or the final hearing

What percentage have you offered for a mesher order?

Do you think your stbx will agree at FDR?

Did the judge at your first court appointment make any suggestions as to what would be a fair settlement?

Ex refuses mesher order as he is adamant he wants a clean break

He will settle on nothing other than him
Being released from the mortgage

Ex didn''t turn up to first appointment as he hadn''t disclosed his form E to me,judge ordered his form E to be disclosed
Questionnaires by the 27th
Answers by the 14th feb
Joint instruction of valuation by the 20th of January
That''s it
FDR in March

But I previously offered 50% mesher before I applied to court in mediation.

If ex is refusing to discuss anything other than a clean break, it doesn''t sound like he will suddenly agree to a mesher order, which would the most likely outcome, if you didn''t have the added complication of part of the reason you cant get mortgage is because you have young baby with your new partner and therefore unable to work. Your stbx solicitor could argue that your cohabitation was a valid reason for the house to be sold.

If the property was sold and you got all the equity would you and your new partner be in position to purchase your own property?

I think in your position I would continue to go it alone to FDR and see what a judge says and save your money for FH, if your stbx takes it that far.

I can''t get a mortgage because I was made redundant just before my ex left me and he left me unable to pay debts.

Mortgage company have basically said my defaults are the problem if I didn''t have those I could get a mortgage with my partner within a year.
Even if I did work full time I''ve only ever been a shop assistant but having children has never stopped me working full time before so I don''t understand why my young child comes in to this- I''m not refusing to work by all means
My Max earning potential £13,700 a year
Not enough to take on the mortgage by myself and even if I was working I still cannot get a mortgage because of my bad credit rating
Baby is not a problem as to why I can''t work as he would go to his grandmothers
It''s actually finding work around school hours for the children of the marriage that is the problem and the cost of breakfast club after school clubs and holiday clubs and a Childminder to ferry them to each club in between
It was my ex mother in law who looked after them while I worked before and she will no longer do this


Anyway my question was where
is best to spend the money FDR
Or final hearing?

What will be the most beneficial to spend the money on?
What''s the most complicated part

If he refused to settle surely the FDR Is the lesser of two evils for me
I''m not bothered what happens mesher/transfer as long as we get to stay in the property.

No even if I got all equity (we will be lucky to break even) after sale costs
We cannot get a mortgage .

I honestly do not believe the judge will order a sale of the house,leave me with all the debt while ex has none
No job and 3 kids to support and not even enough equity to rehouse myself in private accommodation and private rent costing £200 more a month than my current mortgage.

While he swans of with his £32,000 income and no marital debts and the car
He is adequately housed with his girlfriend and no dependants paying £600 a month rent
On a joint income of £62,000 a year.
While mine and my partners joint in is £26,000 from all sources and 4 dependants in total

I cannot see how that is a fair devision of assets at all.

The judge wont make the decision for you until FH. The only way you will settle at FDR is by agreement and it doesn''t sound like your stbx is going to agree to anything less than the property being sold and him being released from mortgage, that why I suggest you self rep at FDR and get support at FH if it gets that far.

As said previously if the only way the children can be housed is via a mesher order than changes are that what will happen and your stbx will get a charge on the property, probably between 30/40% of equity when either you remarry or when the youngest child from the marriage leaves full time education.

Why hasn''t the debt been divided between you both? is it all in your name??