Non-Mol & Occupation Order

I was in a similar position to yourself some years ago and yes it does sound like your ex is playing the system very well.

The reason why she’s doing this is not to gain legal aid as you can do that with a letter from your doctor you don’t need a court order to get it.

Actually what’s she’s doing it trying to take total control of the situation and the subsequent process. If she gets you out of the house then she can let the financial process take as long as she likes as she is under no pressure to come to a financial agreement with you. If you are still living there and she meets someone else who she wants to move in with it becomes in her interest to come to some financial aggrement with you quickly. If she is living elsewhere in a property you are not paying the mortgage on then again she is under pressure to come to some financial agreement so by getting you out of the house she is putting herself in the driving seat as actually you become the one under pressure to come to some financial agreement so you will likely settle for a worse deal than you would otherwise.

You are about to find out that in the family courts a mother with young children trumps any evidence you may have as in you could prove she has lied on her application but they will never do anything to her because of the children and her role as primary career so in effect the children buy her legal immunity.

So they will take you into the court and as you say they will give you the choice of taking the non occupation order and leaving the house or of challenging it. Neither are good options, I choose the former. The good side of this choice is that you can at least protect yourself from further allegations, who knows if she will injure herself and get you arrested again and maybe you end up with a criminal record. The bad side is that as I say you will lose control of financial proceedings and your ex will feel vindicated in her allegations and so will tell her friends and your kids about them as if they were the truth and you will need to explain to your kids your side in future.

You have made a good start by posting here but for me one really important part of gaining some degree of control over the situation again was learning enough about the legal process to represent myself in court and handle the legal documentation side myself so as I don’t need to pay a lawyer for anything. When you are going against someone who is on legal aid this is really the only way to do it in my opinion as the legal process becomes a war of financial attrition and if she is getting it all for free and you are paying 10k or above then that is a very easy war to lose but if you turn that on it’s head then you at least level the playing field and actually in court if there is only one lawyer and there is one side who is representing themselves then they are as officers of the court under some obligation to help you as well so in the end I saw her getting legal aid as actually a really good thing.

Thank you for the comprehensive repsonse. I assumed as much in terms of the approach of the Court. I will be represented by a barrister at the hearing as it’s the first time I will be attending any typeof court hearing but will be taking notes! Also, after the solicitor draws up my witness statement that will give me a good template to work from for future issues.

She has a private solicitor at the moment, will see if she uses legal aid for subsequent matters i.e. child arrangements / financial.

I don’t want to accept the occupation order if I don’t have to, she has access to substantially more capital than I do and despite not currently working she is in a better position to be able to afford to rent. I do feel very guilty about the children not being in the home but this is literally all I have left in terms or normal without being able to see them. The children should be at home with me! That being said I can’t see the Court allowing me to stay in the home given the proactive steps she has taken to exclude me.

I am just extremely frustrated at the prospect in that I innocent of everything I am being accused of and it is impacting on me being able to see my children.