It's generally pretty much irrelevant to the financial settlement who files for divorce and under what grounds unless some aspect of that behavior has caused one party to suffer financial damage which is probably what this is about.
"She has also claimed that the marriage break down was my fault and because of this she has to work a job at a lower wage of £1200 a month compared to her teaching wage of £1600 a month"
I don't think this is going to matter as in normally it's things like one partner has physically attacked the other causing life-changing injuries or been convicted or non physical spousal abuse, something really serious that she would need to provide evidence of not just that she was a bit sad because you had an affair but if she does raise it then you raise her affairs and that your affair was after you split, it all sounds fairly low level.
1. If you can't agree on a valuation then the only legal way to do this is to get a surveyors report done. You may be able to persuade them that the valuation you had done is enough but they are likely going to want to cover themselves from any accusations that you have just got three of your friends to make a valuation.
2. You will be asked to provide one or maybe two years of bank statements. The court is going to want to look forward at what is the solution to your current situation. So unless a transaction is over say £500 which could be you dissipating assets which would have a bearing no the current situation at hand it's unlikely they would be interested.
3. You have paid 100% of the mortgage but you've also lived there with your new partner and child. So the equity in the property is in the matrimonial pot.
4. All pensions should be in the matrimonial pot and the starting point for a split in 50:50. You have had a relatively short marriage and no children so she will argue that you have no claim because it was earnt before and it's up to you to argue why you should.
5. You are in a new relationship so your new partner's income has some relevance to your own needs and capacity to support yourself but as you say she is not part of the divorce and you are not married so it's limited. You can always refuse to answer and ask the judge at the first hearing for directions as to what is relevant or not and I wouldn't freely offer up any information about your partner's finances.
6. Same as 5
7. Technically your ex-wife is homeless right as in she's living as a guest with her mum and you state previously your new partner and child are not part of your previous marriage.
Generally, the court is going to want to see you both housed independently. After that comes savings and pensions and after that comes income but from the levels of figures, it's unlikely that either of you would be in a position to provide maintenance to each other. So your job now if you want to keep your current house is to put forward solutions to your ex-wives housing or lack of. Another way of doing it may be to get a valuation on your ex-wives pension and trade your claim on that against her claim on equity in the property.
With all of this though I agree the amounts being talked about are relatively small compared with costs for solicitors and going the full court route however if she's really vengeful there is nothing stopping her going to court and maybe she represents herself so it only costs her a few hundred pounds for the court applications themselves.
From the level of detail, she is after about your new partner, her refusal to do
mediation and the level of funds you are talking about I would guess she's basically just wanting to make your life difficult. The best way you can defend against this type of situation is to get up to speed on how to represent yourself in court so you are not bleeding thousands on lawyers fees and end up going bankrupt and suffering which may be your ex-wives true goal.
