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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

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The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

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A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


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Why should I have to pay?

  • rusticgirl
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30 Sep 09 #150895 by rusticgirl
Topic started by rusticgirl
My husband is divorcing me for unreasonable behaviour, whilst we both agreed on the divorce as the marriage has long since been over, he is saying I will have to pay all the costs as on paper it will be seen as my fault, is this true??
I have had some mental health problems for many years now and have been a patient of the local mental health team and also been in hospital for suicide attempts. He is using this as justicfiacation for 'unreasonable behaviour', which i'm ok with, but as it's hardly my fault I have an illness, how can I be made to pay all the costs?

  • enliven
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30 Sep 09 #150898 by enliven
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Sorry, I don't know the answer but just wanted to wish you good health for the future.
Having got depression many years ago, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

Keep coming on here won't you? And there is a chat room too if you ever need company.

  • Saturdad
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30 Sep 09 #150901 by Saturdad
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By default, the respondent pays the divorce costs, as it is assumed they have 'wronged' the Petitioner in some way. It's the only area of divorce that is not 'no-fault'

However, it is only the divorce costs - not ancillary relief/contact etc. Normalyy a maximumof £1500, and there is room for negotiation, 50/50 arrangements.

However, don't fight too hard over it - if you're fighting over say a £600 contribution, it could easily cost multiples of that in Solicitor's time etc. In divorce, rationality can go out of the window in the desire to 'win', even on irrelevant points.

Good luck.

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30 Sep 09 #150908 by Forseti
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In your earlier posting you said you were going to use adultery as the grounds for your divorce; why the change? As there are no children involved admitting unreasonable behaviour shouldn't be a problem.

Usually the parties pay their own costs, though sometimes the respondent has to pay the Petitioner. When you respond to the divorce petition in the Acknowledgement of Service (which you must do within 7 days) don't defend it - there's no point - but reject the claim for costs on the grounds that the breakdown of the marriage was as much the petitioner's fault as yours, and mention the ill health. The Petitioner will then either have to pursue costs or back off; it's unlikely the judge will award costs in the circumstances.

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01 Oct 09 #151182 by rusticgirl
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Thank you all so far for your info, much appreciated.
In response to the query about why we have changed our minds, it's because you have to name a third party and neither of us want to, also unreasonable behaviour will be easy enough to prove as there is plenty of proof of my illness.
If the costs are claimed against me, i think i will offer to go 50/50, as i don't mind doing that, we have said from the start we would halve the costs as the divorce is quite mutual and so fair enough we should each equally pay?!
Thanks again for your info eveyone!

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01 Oct 09 #151184 by Forseti
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Surely ill health (mental or physical) doesn't constitute unreasonable behaviour!

Whatever happened to 'in sickness and in health'?

Each paying your own costs seems reasonable.

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01 Oct 09 #151198 by .Charles
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I agree with Forseti that:

"don't defend it - there's no point - but reject the claim for costs on the grounds that the breakdown of the marriage was as much the petitioner's fault as yours, and mention the ill health"

If you attend court on a costs objections hearing without a solicitor and object on the basis that your mental health is outside yuor control any decent Judge will not make an order for costs. If you have a recent letter from your CPN on which gives a summary of your condition over the last 5 years and treatment that you have received this should give the Judge enough reason to dismiss a claim for costs.

Charles

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