I recently received the court Petition on grounds of UB so I have a couple of days to respond. She has asked me to pay half of her costs, to which I feel I should agree to, to be fair. However the UB is over exaggerated and childish. I was ill with anxiety and stomach problems, for which I have medical records, so I suppose I did act unreasonably because of the stress. Would this be taken into account if I defend the costs? If I lose would I then be liable to pay full costs, as her solicitor says?
I would let this go, but for the fact that she is being unreasonable and won't communicate regarding the house. I am living here, paying the mortgage, with almost negative equity, and stand to lose the big deposit that I put down on it. She insists on a sale and won't give me the 18 months to 2 years I need to get her name off the mortgage. I don't trust that she won't force a sale and take half of what little is left. So I don't feel it's right to pay anything towards her costs, given the circumstances. I would happily wait for 2 years separation and pay half then...
Is she doing DIY divorce or does she have sols? I'm guessing its DIY, because solicitors should have sent you a draft of the statement beforehand - Dukey has explained on another post that this is protocol. If its DIY, the costs would be/should be less than £400.00 in total - so you would be agreeing to £200.00.
The cost for splitting the costs now and in 2 years would be the same (or may even be higher in 2 years)
You can state you agree to the divorce, but not to the statements of UB.
Whatever happens re. the divorce it won't change the financial discussions. I would recommend mediation for the financial discussions.
Many thanks for the helpful reply. She is using a solicitor, and all I received is an invoice for the initial letter I received a few months back, notifying me of proceedings. I have no idea how much it will cost in the end. I can't see any way she will budge on insisting the house is sold. I wrote to her solicitor a week ago when I received the Petition, but I got no response. I just feel I have to decide now whether it is wise to defend the costs and if I will succeed given my circumstances...
Don't defend the costs - you will end up paying all of these as you will lose. Offer to pay half but seek that the figure be agreed now on the basis that you will cooperate with the divorce.
The divorce process costs £1100-£1400 - more in London (up to £2000) and more (around £150) if you were personally served with the Petition. Budget to pay £550-£1000 although £650-£750 is typical. You will be expected to pay within 14 days of the Decree Nisi being pronounced.
Don't concern yourself with the allegations of unreasonable behaviour as these are usually exaggerated to convince the court that the marriage has irretrievably broken down. If the allegations are mundane, the court will not allow the divorce to proceed.