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Defended Divorce

  • Jacko
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08 Jan 08 #10210 by Jacko
Topic started by Jacko
We went to court last week as I am defending the divorce. The hearing was to decide whether to dismiss the divorce or for the court to give direction on how to proceed if not dismissed.

The Judge seemed dismissive to much of what her sol was saying and accommodating to what I was trying to say. I felt it apparent the Judge was trying to create a level playing field for both parties much to her sol’s increasing irritation and to my bemusement. You could almost hear him huffing and puffing! At one stage he tried to argue with me. I thought better of it by not replying to his last retort. I didn’t think it very professional of him and the Judge didn’t seem particularly impressed either.

I was very apprehensive when I entered chambers however this quickly dissipated. Though I think my delivery was a little clumsy at times I left feeling I had given a good account of the issues I had and had been treated in a fair and proper manner.

We were both asked whether we thought the marriage was over and we both replied yes.

The Judge said to me you do realise that to defend may cost you £800 - £900 should you not succeed “but I don’t want to scare you”. I am self representing and have probably saved more than that already anyway.

I stated that I was deeply unhappy on her grounds for UB as W was bringing the children into it and I found it unacceptable!

I stated my W had raised her original DP in November 2005 she later stopped proceedings. In January 2007 she returned to her sol to reinstate the divorce (you have 6 months in which to act a point raised by my sol at the time). The Judge then pointed out that is why a supplemental petition had been raised in June 2006. I then pointed out to the Judge that in the SP there were references made to incidents which were alleged to have taken place in March 2006 (well outside the 6 month period). Again I stated these allegations involved the children. I also stated that in her form E she had stated that “through out the marriage I had systematically abused the children mentally and physically” and this I found totaly unacceptable. I also stated that I believed this was inappropriate use of Form E. The Judge said this last issue should be raised with the petitioner. I stated I already had in the Questionnaire of the Respondent (no reply received to my 17 questions to date)

The Judge then asked her sol whether he had a draught copy of their new SP on him. The sol looked blankly at the Judge and after what seemed to be an age the sol replied no.

The Judge then decided not to dismiss the DP but gave direction for a 2 hour hearing to be set next month. He also said to me that I could write to the other party “without prejudice” I assume this is so anything I say to them will not be raised in court?

I did point out during the hearing the children were in my care from the 27th December until the 6th January the hearing was on the 2nd January. Though I didn’t point out I thought it strange I am allowed access if W’s allegations are true.

The hearing was scheduled for 30mins but only lasted 25mins.

So now I wonder how things are likely to proceed?

In her Chronology she states we have lived separately (in the FHM) since January 2006 in my Chronology I have stated we have lived apart since June 2006 when I moved away to start a new job.

If my W raises a new SDP I don’t see what new grounds for UB she can use that I’m not likely to contest?

During the period she has stated in her DP and SDP social services were involved. She has made serious allegations about me regarding the children yet never involved the police or SS at the time? When she found I had first been to SS in October 2005 she called the police saying they were going to remove me from the FHM! They didn’t. She has also called the P at every other given opportunity! Strange she didn’t involve these 2 agencies when the allegations stated in her SDP occurred?

  • Fiona
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08 Jan 08 #10232 by Fiona
Reply from Fiona
Courts are supposed to be user friendly towards litigants in person. I think you need to weigh up that all although your costs are minimal, it's not beyond the realms of possibility you will end up paying your wife's costs of thousands defending the divorce.

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