Final hearing was Friday

First of all I want to thank those who gave me advice when I needed it most.

We didn''t have a lot of assets:
Him - wage £35000
Me - wage £4000
Him - pension. £140,000
Me - pension £15,000
FMH with £70,000 equity where husband is living

Two children aged 9 and 7 who live with me stay with him every other weekend.

It has taken 3 years to get to this point

First we did mediation , I had agreed to all his demands but when it came to signing a consent form he kept moving the goal posts until it had all been rewritten and didn''t have anything which had been agreed in mediation . The final Consent Order was

70/30 split to me
10% of his pension
And a clean brake
child maintenance to only be paied until the children left high school.

At this point I was on legal aid so agreed. In total 5 different Consent Orders were rewritten for him. When he still refused to sign this one I contacted a different solicitor and took it to court. I was no longer able to get legal aid but had no choice.

To cut a very long frustrating story short at the FDR the judge said it was a needs case and she thought I should get a large part of the equity and there was no possibility of a clean brake even if it ment nominal payments of 1p per year.

His final offer was 80/20 and a clean brake. The judge at the FDR refused to allow it. So was listed for final hearing.

Final hearing was Friday, my solicitor had found me a barrister who was only going to charge me £850 + VAT think it was mates rates but I didn''t care as I didn''t have a choice as I was skint and didn''t want to self rep.

When my solicitor saw his barrister she was shocked as he charges big money. His suit was the most expensive I''ve ever seen.

What can I say except the expensive barrister didn''t help.

I was awarded 100% of the equity
£100 a month spousal maintainance until the youngest is 12. then nominal after.
And child maintance via CSA .

My legal fees were £6000 so I wonder if the £100 SP was to cover my costs as the judge gave him a right dressing down for all the games he had been playing. I had kept text messages where he had laughed at me saying he would bankrupt me and drag me through the courts till I was gray And haggard .she was not impressed at all.


I am very please with the out come yet a bit worried about selling a house he has no intrest it.

Phew time to get on with my life.

Good for you. Going to Final Hearing is not a choice most of us would choose, but like you sometimes it is the only way you will get a fair deal. Well done x

On the face of it it seems fair, can i ask how old you both are, did the judge not order a pension share?.

This sounds very much as though your ex chose not to listen to his lawyers, the chance of a Clean Break with children that age and your income is about the same as me out running a polar bear dressed as a seal with my pockets stuffed full of chicken nuggets.

I''m pleased it''s all over for you. When will you be Absolute?
You said about his barrister, well my ex did the same. Told me he was going to get the best there was. The guy he got was the Head of Family Law for our 3 counties, charging £250 per hour, sounds scary doesn''t it? And I had a lady whom I really clicked with who was £120 an hour. She hired me a Barrister who was again a fraction of the cost of his and about 1/3 of his age and she was so on the ball. It''s very hard to make me bow down to rank and proffession but my goodness I was so humbled by my Barrister. (Admitadly I have been on here begging advise about how to kick my sol up the butt but now it''s all over I can see and apprieciate what she was doing)

Onwards and upwards. Good luck moving forward.

xx

dukey wrote:

On the face of it it seems fair, can i ask how old you both are, did the judge not order a pension share?.

This sounds very much as though your ex chose not to listen to his lawyers, the chance of a Clean Break with children that age and your income is about the same as me out running a polar bear dressed as a seal with my pockets stuffed full of chicken nuggets.

ha ha ha! best round them nuggets up Dukey! I got a Clean Break too! I earn marginally more at £7k.

Vivi you got a Clean Break with two young kids and your ex earns x8 what you do?

ummmm he earns £75k. And has a pension of about £400k

You just get to point when enough is enough. I was fighting him for 7 years all I ever wanted was the house (valued 165k, mortgage 130k) and for him to make this affordable to me which is a £60k lump sum. From the day he walked out the door that was all I ever begged of him. My lifestyle has dropped conciderably when he left me but then I came from from nothing. I just wanted to be happy again. He firmly believed that he did not have any obligation to us what so ever because he has his new family to support. And his hot shot idiot solicitor didn''t advise him properly because he was on a brilliant pay roll. At my Appeall there was a point when my barrister came back to me and said that when she has some spare time she was going to make it her mission to take his solicitors practice down.