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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


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can It stop?

  • Kitsi
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14 Aug 12 #349496 by Kitsi
Topic started by Kitsi
I filed for divorce
We have our Nisi, we are now settling finances. My stbx is being so unreasonable and bile and was so abusive verbally when we married that I really don''t want to attend the 2nd FDR at Court on 28/09 which will involve Counsel.
Can anyone tell me what would happen if I called a halt to it?
I know he would refile but would I aoutomatically have to pay his legal fees that he has accrued so far as well as mine>
And tne would I have to pay legal fees of mine when he brought the petition?
Is it possible for one partner to say ''no. actually I am NOT going to divorce you. You want it- you do it''.
I am divorcing him for adultery (unreasonable behaviuor) and his grounds would have been UB on me claiming I had given upw ell paid work out of choice to stay home putting him under undue pressure.
Because I wouldn''t mediate as his affair had been with my best friend and then I found tons of gap porn he had been looking at, he decided to fleece my legally instead. I don''t earn and have used nearly all my savings in this legal affair- he has a rich father who is bankrolling his divorce. And he earns a ton.
Can anyone advise me or has anyone done this? I am in the FMH and he has rented but we have no children and he pays me less than a fifth of his salary to run this house and allows me £100 month for food- thank God the chickens are laying!
Kitsi

  • soulruler
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14 Aug 12 #349516 by soulruler
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More information would be useful such as ages, length of marriage, assets, liablities, wages of both parties, and so on.........

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14 Aug 12 #349529 by Fiona
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Sadly for whatever reason the marriage is over and if you don''t separate emotions from the practicalities it just hurts the wallet. Emotions are therefore best dealt with separately, using a counsellor if necessary.

Once applications have been made the court sets the timetable and you can''t just stop a divorce or financial proceedings. Not adhering to court procedures and causing unnecessary hearings is indeed a reason for a costs order to be made against you. In any event you would be better off seeing it through to the end so that you know where you stand and end living in limbo.

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14 Aug 12 #349540 by Kitsi
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ouch

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14 Aug 12 #349542 by Kitsi
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Hi
I am 52, he is 42, married 12 years together for 14 and a half.
No chldren
Assets £230k equity in house £196k mortgage
His salary £85 k plus bouneses taking it to around £120k pa
Me savings £35k, him no idea. me debts - none, him- credit cards £18k
I don''t work now but when I did I earned £70k plus nearly ten years ago. I put £69k into house and he put in £38k I sold all my stocks and shares to removate this house
He has sold his stocks and shares but I don''t knw where- before he left me.
He stands to inherit £1m from his father who is not in the best of health and very old. I also have a large inheritance to come but my uncle thank God is very healthy and still runs a stable yard.
I don''t know what else to put... foes that help?

  • hawaythelads
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15 Aug 12 #349570 by hawaythelads
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Hi Kitsi,

Best to see it through hun.
Ok so he''s vile and emotionally abusive towards you.
You''ll be tied to that for longer if u halt proceedings now.
You will get hit with your costs and his costs because Ancillary Relief legal proceedings have nothing to do with emotions in the eyes of the law.
It''s a legal division of marital assets end of.So if u call a halt to it you pay for wasting everyones time to this point.
FECK HIM thank God that after this you''ll have no tie to him whatsoever legally.
Why do you think he''s being so vile and abusive because he knows that this train is running now and it will get to the end of the line and it''s going to cost him large when it gets there!So don''t you be the one pulling on the emergency brake and letting him off the hook.Because all the stress you''ve got now you will just prolong and you will feck yourself financially.
"If you''re going through Hell,Keep Going" Winston Churchill.
All the best
HRH xx

  • soulruler
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15 Aug 12 #349575 by soulruler
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Best thing to do is as the others have said see this through.

You are divorcing so the potential inheritances are not relevent bearing in mind the time they might become available (neither have happened yet and you are divorcing now).

You have started this, not that it would have mattered who petitioned as me are way on the way to non fault divorce.

You must attend the FDR even though the thought frightens you and I agree the thought of legals is and can be frightening.

Make sure that all the details of the contribution you both made to the house and your contribution towards the renovation is well documented in court as section 25 of the matrimonial causes act should take into account the contribution made during the course of the marriage.

The fact that you are 10 years older and haven''t been in the work place for a considerable period of time should mean that you get the larger share of the marital assets in what has been a relatively long marriage.

He should be disclosing his own finance properly.

You might even get a spousal maintenence. Are you legally represented and what have they advised you if you are?

Any idea of the value of the stocks and shares that he sold at the point he left you? I think you are a candidate for a section 37 injunction or at least to refer to it. In order t get the injunction you need to know the whereabouts of the funds, or the court does, in order to apply a freezing order to stop disipation.

In any case the value of them needs to be taken into account in the same way that the savings in your name will be taken into account.

It may be that he has cashed them, or transferred them to a third party or even sent the money out of the UK.

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