In case useful, this was the outcome in my final hearing. I should say before you consider the figures that for longstanding reasons I consider the judge very hostile towards me and I attempted to have them recused (live application). My ex was represented, I was LiP. 4 day hearing:
4 month marriage, 2.5y incl. cohabitation
. Separated 3 years already.
Both parties mid 30s
My gross salary around 65k, ex 40k, but ex has dropped down to part time working post separation
- to 25k. This factor ignored by judge although they did want them gradually building up to work more.
1 child, age 3, shared care but ex has more time than me (hence claimed justification for split below)
Capital brought to marriage:
Capital split in FH order:
100k to ex
50k to me
Commercial debts left to respective parties (all incurred post separation due to legal bills etc):
joint 4k (split 50:50)
All family loans even where evidenced ignored.
Costs and arrears for MPS about 10k payable me to ex.
Total spent on legal bills in this and (mostly) children proceedings: me 70k, ex 80k (nb - compare with total asset pot... tragic)
So the actual effect is:
So much for Nicholls'' yardstick of equality!
The judge basically gave her the equity because of needs with child - secure accommodation. I argued that we would both have to rent because buying no longer feasible with our limited assets. He disagreed, and said rental wasn''t secure accommodation! So much for the 1/3 of the population who rent. I then asked for a charge on her new home (payable when child 18 or similar) because of her getting most of equity that I brought to marriage - refused because judge didn''t like charges and it wouldn''t allow "me" to move on! He was quite happy to let ex move on with my money though apparently!
Spousal maintenance ordered me to ex at 800 per month for two years (nb - plus CMS 500 pm), no s28 bar.
I read somewhere (probably on here) that a good divorce settlement is one that leaves both parties feeling slightly aggrieved at the outcome. Well my ex skipped out of the court room at the end of day 4 grinning and thanking the judge profusely. I joke not..!!
Thank you for posting, even though it does make shivers run down my spine.....I am trying to negotiate a fair settlement, which does leave my stbx in a much better position than me, but similar to you I am having to combat an assertion that she can only ever work 2 days a week because of health(totally spurious) and ignoring by her that her NHS pension is really worth much more than my modest private one. So if like yours the judge buys the health issue and ignores the pension then she too will be skipping out of the court room.
I am very green on all this, but I assumed that with such a short relationship it would be much more aligned to an equitable split.
How do you feel her being represented compared to you not affected the outcome? I had considered LiP but decided not to, but like you costs are really starting to mount and we are not at second hearing yet.....
I ran out of money to get representation ages ago, her parents have funded her throughout. I tried for a Legal Services Payment Order but this was refused by the (same) judge. To be honest I don''t think the result would have been hugely different had I been represented. It probably would have been slightly more in my favour, or on better terms, but this would have been offset by the costs of having that representation.
That said, it would have been way, way less stressful having proper representation. I have been genuinely worried that I might have a stroke or a heart attack with the stress in preparing and conducting the trial (I''m in mid to late 30s). It has been horrifically stressful and must inevitably have long term health implications. It wouldn''t have been fun even with counsel but it would have been much less of a worry - not having to prepare cross-examination plans etc. If I''d had the money or ability to borrow to fund representation, I would have done so.
Anyway, in limited means cases, which frankly most cases are, it is very difficult as you can''t both come out of it with a decent amount, especially not if you''ve been warring in court for years, and if one side or another has the child even for five minutes more than the other, they have the ''primary carer trump card'', however outdated this thinking is.. Good luck!
Hi HRabbit - in response to your question about LiP/Rep - I guess it depends on what you think the odds are of settling. If your ex might settle after an FDR where she gets a wake up call from the judge as to what is fair, it might help to have representation there. But overall my main advice to everyone would be if you think your case might go all the way to Final Hearing and money is tight, save your money for representation at that, the FH, don''t waste it on anything beforehand.
Also make sure there''s a big email trail of offers of mediation
, ADR etc, explaining the benefits
of that to your case and why you should both try it, on a regular basis, even if it''s refused every time. Don''t just send them in the run up to hearings as they may be written off as ''tactical''. It may allow you to seek costs if it goes to FH. Also keep a record of how much time you are spending as a LiP - perhaps a number of hours each week and what you are working on. You may be able to claim costs as a LiP @ £19/hr in addition to any money gone to lawyers.
Thanks again. I will keep as I am with represntation currently and decide where to go after second hearing. My stbx did get a big wake up call at the first hearing, in that her continued assumption that the house would be transferred to her for nothing was overturned, so after 2 years of ignoring me and everything totally, she has now made an offer. I have been to
mediation and now offered in writing 3 round table meetings with
solicitors to negotiate, but they have been largely ignored(no response at all) or rejected.
Of course her offer is based on claiming ill health and ignoring pension, so it is not something I can accept, so we are currently in between solicitors responses but i fear it will go to the second hearing and the result of that i guess will tell either of us who should start pedalling backwards to negotiate a settlement....I do not want to have to go to a third hearing!
I hope you are holding up after going through it all and a very upsetting result, yes I too see very high blood pressure, lack of sleep and a million things whirring through my head all day and night as not good for the future health prospects....good luck too.
I don''t feel like it''s heavily weighted towards women at all. I feel it''s weighted to who has most money to throw at it. I''m in court tomorrow for my FDR and I''m terrified. My husband has made himself look as poor as possible even though he earned £226k gross in 2015/16 with a net income of £146k. He wants to pay me 10p a year SM, no lump sum, no
, sell the house that has no equity in it with him taking responsibility for any negative equity incurred and £900 a month CM. I earn £22k working part time with £984 per year child benefit and £3216 tax credits. Our daughter is 12. I don''t want the house sold. I''m looking for a mesher order. A lot of what his barrister
has put on the case summary is lies, smoke and mirrors. Absolutely terrified the Judge will believe his sob story.