What is the likelyhood of being forced to find a full time job by the judge, when I ‘may’ have a yet undiagnosed disability, and also support a school age child with autism?
My ex has said his solicitor said there’s no reason I can’t work full time, and the judge will ‘make’ me, and my child is old enough to look after themselves.
I work part time. I am looking for a 2nd job to supplement my income that fits around my current situation.
I have mental health issues, some of which I will be seeking a referral for.
I’m not interested in how the assets are split up. I’m sure I’ll get what the judge says I should.
but what I will say is, I was a mostly stay at home parent, with occasional part time jobs to fit around his job. I was also self employed for 12 years until he left (when I had to find a job with regular wage).
He has never paid me any maintenance since we separated, and he works full time, and owns 3 properties, and is hiding money.
for the youngest, and we’d been married 14 years, together for 24.
When cohabitation runs seamlessly into marriage, the whole length of the relationship is counted - so this is a long marriage. The start point for division of all assets is 50:50. Where children are involved and where there is a disparity in incomes, this may well not be the end point.
Financial settlement on divorce is about needs first and the means you have between you to meet them.
Whilst it is true that a court would expect you to maximise your income, that is within the context of all the circumstances. Have a look at section 25 of the 1973 Matrimonial Causes Act.
Remember what he says his solicitor has said may only be his version - and in any case his solicitor is not there to represent your interests. Also remember that your contributions will be considered equal.
I am concerned about how passive you seem to be about all this. It is a good idea to inform yourself about finances on divorce. If you are representing yourself, you will need to make sure the judge is clear about your position including being able to challenge any falsehoods and protect your position and that of your children.
Thank you for your response.
I know I appear passive; that's simply because I've had enough. I have enough going in my life right now, without the pressure of divorce.
My mother said the same thing to me, that what he's telling me is probably rubbish, and his own version/interpretation.
I believe I would 'go away' with at least 70% of the assets, although I'm happy with less, as long as I have a share of the pension, and roof over our heads.
I fully intend to downsize, though I'll still need 3 rooms, as our young adult son is still at home saving for his own mortgage.
I have never been allowed to have my name on the mortgage, even when we remortgaged. I'm aware it doesn't matter who's name is on it or not as it was the matrimonial home.
I'm unsure of where I stand with the other properties though. Both were bought during the marriage, but the last one was purchased when we were separated (with a view to reconciliation); and it was bought in an underhand way. He was renting, decided to buy somewhere instead, with the intention of giving it to our eldest to rent when he (the ex) came back home. I know now he had no intention to come back. The down payments on this was paid for with savings I didn't know existed.
He has said he has instructed his solicitor to get me the best deal, which is 'the house', and that's done and dusted.
Why on earth would they get ME the best deal?
If this was the case, we would be getting the same amount of the pot, with mine being £10k more. I don't feel this is fare, considering my earning potential even with a full time job.
I'm not being represented by anyone, but once I have further details of his finances, and personal assets, I intend of speaking to a solicitor. I hope they can point me the right direction of what to do next, and what I should be aiming for during assets negotiation. I struggle with taking in information face to face, and my ex knows this, which is why hes trying to get me to go down the 'easy' route, instead of fight for the best deal possible for me and the children.
Do you have any further advice for me? Will I be wasting my money seeking advice from a solicitor? Will the visit be worthwhile, because if its something I can work out myself, with the help of people here, I would like too.
You are right not to believe that his solicitor will come up with the best deal for you . He must think you were born yesterday.
All assets bought during the marriage are matrimonial assets. Even assets purchased after separation would be included as they money comes from the marriage.
You may want to think about using one of our services for additional support to deal with negotiations. Much more cost effective than a solicitor. You can also obtain a legal opinion on settlement. Give the helpline a call.