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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.

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Our consultant service offers expert advice and support for people who are going to court over a fair financial settlement, for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.

Update on FDR

  • TAB03
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  • Junior Member
10 May 21 #516664 by TAB03
Topic started by TAB03
Update on FDR outcome and a few questions
H turned up with barrister no offer.
H Barrister argued he needed this he needed that because of his disability.
Judge was not impressed,no offer and ordered H to pay my barristers cost for the day and directed straight to FH.
The judge could not give her advice of how she would award split because H had no offer but did say husbands expectations of needing the FMH and most of his pension was not in her view acceptable as it’s a long marriage and needs based.wife’s needs as well as Husbands needs to be considered.
This was Friday and although a call to my solicitor would give me my answers I feel I just need time away from this to come down and relax
My health mentally and physically has taken a knock and so I cone to my safe pace on this forum where both sides of an argument can be listened too.
So here’s my questions
1. I know in FD any WP offers can’t be disclosed at FH but is there anything else that can’t mentioned again from FDR
My barrister had written up the FD court order and had it ready and I think the judge was saying what should be in for FD
Would that be correct.

2. H has accused made reference to me living with my boyfriend this was in the court docs from his side but not mentioned in the court.
I live with my sister, sofa surf at my eldest daughters(not H daughter) and don’t dispute I spend time with my boyfriend at his house.Pointing out Lockdown has been a controlling factor to being anywhere other than at my sisters.
I really don’t think I’ll trust another man after the treatment of my H during this divorce but my question is
What would my H need for this to be more than mud slinging
I’m not asking for maintenance and if I wanted to effectually move in with my boyfriend what would be the correct procedure to follow be.
I don’t want to break the law.
Many thanks in advance xx

  • hadenoughnow
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  • Moderator
  • Moderator
10 May 21 #516668 by hadenoughnow
Reply from hadenoughnow
I suspect he is going to be pretty unhappy with the outcome if what he wants is wildly unrealistic.

50:50 is the start point for division after a long marriage.
Needs are always the first consideration.

You don't say what his disability is but if he qualifies for non means tested disability benefits they could be seen as meeting any additional income needs specific to his disability.

Even if you did decide to cohabit, you would still need sufficient funds to rehouse if the relationship did not work out. In fact my view would be that you are best to get a place of your own and retain your independence! It can always be rented out. Staying over regularly does not constitute cohabitation if you have your own place and separate finances.

The FDR discussions are all wp and should not be referred to at FH.

The order from FDR will set out the next steps including the need for a s25 statement which is where you set out your means and needs. If you do intend to cohabit you can say so in there. No doubt he will be mudslinging in that but you need to stay dignified and don't be tempted to sink to his level.

Your solicitor may advise an early open offer and a costs warning. This should concentrate his mind. Although it is rare to be awwarded costs it does happen. If the judge at FH thinks you have ended up there because of his behaviour, they may entertain a costs application.


  • TAB03
  • TAB03's Avatar Posted by
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  • Junior Member
10 May 21 #516673 by TAB03
Reply from TAB03
Yes husband also receives PiP including a mobility car and £46,000 after tax pension in payment gives me £700 to live on
He maintains he must keep the FMH as it’s been adapted for him which consists of a grab rail in our shower room and front and back doors widened when we renovated.
I just want a fair Clean Break that we can both manage on.
But true to his word the day I left he said “you’ve made your bed and I’m going to make sure you sleep in it”
I knew from that moment he’d fight me to then end
Will the cost he was told he had to pay be mentioned in the FD as non compliance?

  • TAB03
  • TAB03's Avatar Posted by
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  • Junior Member
18 Sep 21 #517729 by TAB03
Reply from TAB03
Hi all
I thought I would update you all on my financial settlement and the long process
The Final hearing was set for 4th October but I really did not want to go and so I took my husbands offer which is as follows.
He buys me of the matrimonial home, that's £120,000 to me, 40% of his 2million pound pension, the holiday home in France and I got the chattels from the house I had requested.
Some people might think you would have got more if you had gone to court but I have to say, 20 months ago I would have taken £50,00 from the house, maintances of £1,500 a month and sell the French property and split the proceedings of sale equally.
I can honesty say I'm happy with what I have.
​​​​​I lived for 23 years thinking I was lucky, my successful clever husband took care of everything financially and wasn't I lucky I didn't have to work. When I first told a good friend I was leaving she said "why ? you have a beautiful home, want for nothing and a husband who looks after you, your mad".
The reality is I had a husband that controlled me through financial abuse and that became aparant the day I left. He froze the bank accounts and my only source of income, took the car off me(my only source of transport) and had the locks changed on our home.
I was lucky I had love and financial support throughout this process in order to fight him through the courts. The law needs addressing for men and women who do not have the financial means to fight a long expensive legal battle.
If a one needs help or support in fighting a financial abusive divorce I have 20 months of legal advice given to me to get me to a final hearing if needed
Take care you all don't be bitter if they have left you, think of your children and remember everyone deserves to be happy xx

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