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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


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off to court tomorrow...

  • Mrs Ingledew
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22 Jan 08 #11441 by Mrs Ingledew
Topic started by Mrs Ingledew
Well here we go - got to go to court tomorrow.

Hadn't planned on going as this is forthe decree nisis.

However stbx has decided to object to costs and is going in person so my solicitor has advised me to go too.

As the divorce is adultery based we were asking that he picked up the costs of the divorce element of the case
and made an offer in Nov of £750 costs all in. Since then costs have more than doubled so even if we go 50:50 he is worse off.

I have been given a summary of his objections and they are dispicable...

1) 10 years ago I had an affair (untrue)
2) he has had extensive expenditure on their property due to criminal damage (incited by me! -not) In fact the rumour on the block is this was her ex and the extensive damage is some bleach on a lawn and paint in a fence panel.
3) large amount of personal debt (snap)
4) if he has to pay costs he will go bankrupt!

vile and horrid and I am not looking forward to tomorrow at all.

My solicitor says the judge will ignore all the above anyway as irrelevant as evern if it were true a previous affair has no bearing particularly as we went on to have child and stay together for longer than 50% of our marriage, 2 would only be taken into account if there were police charges, 3 is the same for both and 4 can be seen to be aggressive. Still when did he get so nasty.

Just want out and soon.

  • Specialdad
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22 Jan 08 #11445 by Specialdad
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Dont waste your time. No need to attend.

The judge will award the divorce and then move on.

U and yur ex are involved in a bitter, ego and pride war which is going to cost you financially.

  • loobyloo
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22 Jan 08 #11460 by loobyloo
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taylr
I petitioned and happened to be in court for interim maintainance when the issue of nisi brought up by his barrister...
the dj said" the contents of petition uncontested is therefore seen as admission to the accusation and therefore awards costs against him...so if you petitioned and he has not contested petition(not costs) youll be in favour
I wouldnt have known only i was there... on that day his barrister was being smart..she thought
so you take faith from that hun
looby

  • Mrs Ingledew
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22 Jan 08 #11487 by Mrs Ingledew
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Hear what you are saying and as to costing fnancially it is only me who pays - he's on legal aid.
As to being involved in a bitter, ego and pride war. Yes my ego and pride are hurt by his accusations.
I don't want to fight him and I really don't care about what he's done - I just want him to go away. But he won't.

How can it be war when I don't want to fight. I just want him to be fair - after all I've offered more than 50:50 and I have the children.

  • gooner
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22 Jan 08 #11507 by gooner
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hi


just a quick note to say good luck for tommorow any court is daunting but just try and keep your cool and be patient your time will come!!


best wishes

gooner

  • confusedbuthopeful
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22 Jan 08 #11517 by confusedbuthopeful
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I wish you loads of luck tomorrow. I may find myself there too soon. Although our situations may not be exactly the same I have been horrified by my 'husband's' vindictiveness since I decided that his adultery was unacceptable.
Our situation is made worse by the fact that until recently we ran a company together. I am now unemployed, furious and worried.
Please let the site know how you got on. Best wishes. M

  • attilladahun
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22 Jan 08 #11527 by attilladahun
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) 10 years ago I had an affair (untrue).......[clearly irrelevant]
2) he has had extensive expenditure on their property due to criminal damage (incited by me! -not) In fact the rumour on the block is this was her ex and the extensive damage is some bleach on a lawn and paint in a fence panel. [irrelevant]
3) large amount of personal debt (snap) [irrelevant..issue is priniple and whether he can afford goes to the issue of payment. [The reasonable sum for costs if agreed is £650 +VAT + Court fees so in total c £1110 so having offered £750 that was a very fair compromise....
Now if that argument came before me I would consider the H totally unreasonable and would assess the costs at say £1100 + costs of attg the hearing tomorrow say travel and waiting 1 hour and hearing 15 minutes say another £200 +VAT

4) if he has to pay costs he will go bankrupt! [He better not use that argument as the DJ will have a fit-it will be perceived as trying to blackmail you and control the Court....and if clearly his finances are not that parlous an example of "conduct" that the Court could later take into account when finances are considered. [Actually in practice it won't but the behaviour is "conduct" in my personal opinion.

Don't fret he will in all probability come across as a "control freak".....
he will be your best witness.........

Risk factor for you 0.1 out of 10 :)

Best of luck

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