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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


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  • Talulahbelle10
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15 Jul 12 #343217 by Talulahbelle10
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Hi,

I have my first appointment on Monday 16th July and only received my stbx financial statement yesterday (Friday). It has been sent from his solicitor and it says that it has been approved but not yet signed by him. I am representing myself and as much as i didn''t want to, I sent him my documents a couple of weeks ago. His form E is very vague and missing quite a bit of information, one important piece is the secured personal loan that he has against the house which he is consistently defaulting on and is in considerable arrears with and which was also the reason the bank refused to allow me to buy him out due to it leaving me with a bad credit history. I also know that he has taken out many loans and is also in arrears with them, he also owes council tax and water rates and he has the Inland Revenue after him for money he owes. Obviously this will have left no time for the judge to read through all the documents properly and I have not been able to get my questionnaire ready.

After reading a few posts on here saying that the judge is quite lenient with people sending forms in late I am worried that this will go against me as he has had plenty of time to read mine and get his questionaire in. I have nothing to hide so cannot see what he would be able to find to go against me. He is trying to force me to sell the house or give him his share of the equity, it''s a very long story but he has put me In a position where I am unable to buy him out. I have been paying for the house and all of the outgoings for the past year as he said that he could not afford to pay his share anymore but looking at his bank statements he seems to have enough money to spend thousands of gambling. He also won eleven thousand pound in a poker tournament last year which he says he used to pay debts that he owed but after seeing his statement it doesn''t read like that.

Has anyone else had any experience of this sort of situation and what should I expect at my first appointment under the circumstances? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks

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15 Jul 12 #343220 by NoWhereToTurnl
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Hi Tal,

I went through exactly the same 2 weeks ago, received his form E the night before and yes he got away with it in that the DJ did not reprimand him.

However DO NOT WORRY, write your statement of issues, including that you received his form E on 13th July ''12, unsigned and without required documentation to back up his disclosure. Explain to the DJ that this is the reason you have been unable to do your questionnaire.

This hearing is just for the DJ to give Directions & when you receive the letter from the hearing it will give a time frame to adhere to.

My ex had done his questionnaire as I had also filed my form E at the correct time, the DJ gave me time to reply and time to submit mine.

Stay calm, depending on the DJ, he might have shot himself in the foot.
Good Luck Monday
NWTT xx

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15 Jul 12 #343233 by Talulahbelle10
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Hi NWTT

Thanks so much for the advise, I find it so hard to believe that a DJ can be so lenient on people when they have not followed the rules. I ended up making myself ill worrying about getting all the forms done on time. In have a feeling that he wont even turn up to court tomorrow, hopefully anyway!!

thanks again xx

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15 Jul 12 #343239 by NoWhereToTurnl
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Hi Tal,

Try to relax for the rest of the day, go for a walk, see friends or do what ever feels right but DO NOT bust a gut doing forms, you have done everything right. :)

Sadly Judges are not interested in the emotion and to be honest are far too busy so just want to get the job done.

My exh & his sol tried to assassinate my character in every way possible but remember "sticks & stones will break my bones but calling names wont hurt me". Try not to take anything to heart, imagine your stbx as a nematode and hold your head high.

When your upto it, let me know how you got on,
Will be thinking about you,
NWTT xx

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16 Jul 12 #343575 by Talulahbelle10
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Hi NWTT,

Just thought I would let you know how I got on today. Its such a long story so I will make it short. After his solicitor tried to intimidate me in the waiting room and then tried to get his form E off of me so that he could sign it I was ready for a fight! Basically the judge was not happy with him and his solicitor so she adjourned the first appointment and told my stbx that he had to complete that form in full and sign it so that I could have the chance to get my questionaire in. She also advised mediation which to be honest I don''t really want to do but she advised that it would be a good idea as the costs could escalate and then might have to come out of the share of the equity. I sort of got the impression that she was on my side, it might have been a hunch but it certainly felt that way.

Anyway I really don''t think that he will ever get this form E back to me, he has so much to hide including money going into his account that he cannot explain and that has not been declared on his tax return. He is in so much debt to so many people and it seemed to me that his solicitor had no idea about all of this. When he tried to speak his solicitor told him to be quite!

He walked away from the court looking like a broken man, it felt very good, I hope he was ashamed of himself. I am under no illusion that his bad behaviour will result in me walking away with the house but I certainly feel a bit more confident about the whole situation.

Thanks so much for your emails, they were a great help to me.....as the saying goes ''you can never underestimate the kindness of strangers'' . I hope everything will work out okay for you, its amazing how you can know someone for all that time and then they can turn round and stab you in the back. I truly believe in karma, so they will both get what they deserve.

Take care and thanks again xx

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16 Jul 12 #343587 by NoWhereToTurnl
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Hi Tal,

Thank you so much for letting me know, I have been thinking about you all day. I am so proud of you and was punching the air as I read your message.

The DJ certainly appeared to be on your side, so onward and upward. I hope you manage to get a good sleep tonight.

Keep in touch and here is to Girl Power!!

I am here for you any time and again, well done.

Sleep tight, big hug,
NWTT xx

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22 Sep 12 #357314 by Talulahbelle10
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