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Non-molestation / Occupation Order

  • Sera
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30 Sep 07 #4158 by Sera
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....I have financial interest here. I worked for two years on renovations, (big project), then a further year in negotioations with five interested parties (property developers). In this past year, I've met weekly with developers, builders, finanaciers, tree preservation officers, architects, agents, town planners etc, etc. My ex handed me the project, and I've earned him £600k with my clever skilled negotiations.

Just as we were to accept a deal (end of July) he interupted the sale, started shouting "I want a divorce - get gone Mrs" (actually the words were slightly more colourful)... and I believe him to have taken up with someone else.

He's now denying the fact of what I've done. (Don't worry, I have some proof), and behind my back he's still negotiating, whilst being deceptive, and telling me he doesn't wish to sell. (Ex was away a few weeks ago, and I answered the phone), developer wanted to urgently bring an investor to the premises. I met with them (ex was livid!) And I saw from e-mails what he's trying to do behind my back. He'd told developer he still wishes to sell, once he's got a divorce.

That's why I'm staying! Also, I've lived here for two years, during that time there's other issues that I've had to help ex with. (An ex girlfriends claim to a child, child was seven before I came along, sorted out DNA tests, standing-orders for her child maintenance, Wills etc)..... I'm not leaving because he thinks by ripping up our wedding photos, throwing out my ring, and pretending I never existed. He lives with extreme denial, I think I'd lose control on the situation if I'm not 'on-top-of-it'.

I see his daft claims as a malisceous claim,and I'm going to fight those false allegations. We are in mediation, so when all is sorted, then I'll leave.
I live here more than him, he's always away on business, or at his girlfriends house.

Also, we'd kept my house as a rental property, (I'd moved all my stuff here), I got some bloke off spareroom.com, I don't know him, but the judge understood why I didn't wish to share my old house with an internet stranger.

Hope that makes sense?

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01 Oct 07 #4174 by Fiona
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Each to their own. I couldn't be bothered with the intrigue or hassle. I think life is too short and I value my sanity too much to have stayed so I was prepared to move out, although it didn't come to that because my ex moved rather than disrupt the children. Once we had some space it was easier to keep things in perspective.

I know the general advice is not to move out but in your case I don't see how staying will make a difference. Perhaps I'm missing something.

Edited:

  • Sera
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01 Oct 07 #4180 by Sera
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I'm glad I stayed! If only for the emotional 'closure' I needed to get this divorce, and see him as the prig he really is!

He cited 'divorce' in July, (after only six months).
He said he wanted the quickest resolution. I told him he can't apply until Jan 08. Quickest resolution would be to mediate, (which we are doing) and deal with issues, and then I move out when finances sorted. (In staying here, I've been able to gather the evidence I need, regarding my contributions to his properties).

I still don't see why I should be intimidated out of here?

I'm up to my meck in legal stuff, and I'm licking my wounds from the emotional turmoil, and I don't see how any of that would be easier from elsewhere?

My ex is not normally here, (cureently away in South Africa) touring musician.... Also, I'm dealing with people from his part of the world, (on a daily basis) and me moving back to London, would become a severe inconvenience.

He's not going to get a divorce any faster if I were to move.

I'm not trying to stall the process, I want it over-and-done with asap! (Not sure if that helps any?)

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01 Oct 07 #4181 by Sera
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Also, re: his conduct/non-mol orders. I had a call from a police officer today. Ex has delivered some CD's to her, from calls I've made to his mobile. She said she'd listen to them, to see if they contain any actual THREATS to him.

(Ex took tapes to the police, claiming 'harrassment', Police advised that he cannot make a claim for harrassment against a partner he lives with).

She will advise further, but it may take a few weeks. Since I know from the transcripts in the court bundle - that there are no threats to him, I'm not unduley concerned. I'm glad he took them to the police, because when she's heard them, I hope she'll type a report saying "No threats....." etc.

The bloke's desperate!

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01 Oct 07 #4182 by wscowell
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Almost sounds like he's mentally ill!

Will

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01 Oct 07 #4184 by Sera
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:dry:...actually Will, that was my first assumption.

2oth July: Bought me flowers, took a bottle of wine to the bath, had soapy-sex in bathroom, continued in bedroom, cooked dinner, watched movie, went to bed loved-up, content and happy...

21st July.... woke up, wanted divorce, after hearing I'd made him 600k richer in property deal.

23rd July, He couldn't understand why I wouldn't go to the theatre with him, ("get ready honey, we need to leave in half-hour"...)

24th July: (Me) "You're ill, you're having a breakdwon you need to see your GP" (He asks me to trudge to doctor with him, doctor advises a physchiatrist, and to reduce alcohol).

25th July (he): "why won't you attend a business lunch with me"?

Me: "Because if you want a divorce - you don't have status-symbol lovely wife to accompany you any more"!

and so on...

Two months later, people are enquiring about me, his 'lovely new wifelet'... ?

Friends call the house, saying they think he's ill.

"Thank you, I'm not his nursemaid, he's projecting onto me and suing my ass off in court"!

EX: "I'm not sick, nowt wrong with me, shrink doesn't need to see me"

Sol in court: (Playing 'mental illness' card):

"Her presence in the house, is making him ill"!



Diagnosis: Will, you're right as usual!

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01 Oct 07 #4195 by Fiona
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'lovely new wifelet' - you aren't married to Lord Bath by any chance?

Of course you shouldn't be intimidated out of your home. Obviously your ex has some issues and I just think it's best not to get caught up in whatever causes him to spin. If you don't buy into his manipulative behaviour you won't feel manipulated.

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