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Non-molestation / Occupation Order

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19 Sep 07 #3615 by gone1
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Sera wrote:

Thanks guys... I'll certainly quote that case Will. I'll update Monday also afterwards.

I called the Court (spoke to a clerk I think?) They said it would be a short hearing, half-hour, and the judge could decide for a further length of time, to allow me to gather evidence. She also said I could deliver my Statement to his sol on the day.
Of the supposed 'witnesses', he's wheeled out only his mates that some way profit from his lies! (Cash jobbers), one mate owes him a debt of over 30k, asked for an extended period of repayment, and guess what!? He calls him a witness!


Ok so it wont be dealt with on that day. The court time is far to short. The judge will need about half a day to deal with this properly. In this hearing the judge may say that he will accept undertakings. This is a promise of sorts. Sorry I dont have an electronic copy of one to send you. Now its up to you what you do. But signing an undertaking kills this action dead. And you are just promising not to phone him or what ever for a few months. Now do you have a burning desire to speak to him? I doubt it so its no loss is it?

You could fight this and my instinct tells me you should and I felt the same about my non mol. Ok she won this round. But a war is many battles and she won the 1st sortie. So what? I dont have a burning desire to put nails in her tyres so thats that.

If you lose this action you will be presented with all the costs. Could be thousands of pounds. Is it worth it? Take the emotion out of this and think what you want from it. It was hard for me to effectivly take the blame for something I didnt do and all this from a women that I used to love and her kids. The kids also said horible things about me that were totaly untrue. To suck all this up was hard and did affect me. But I did it becuase I need that money for later. So at the end of the day I reckon I made the right decision. But you have to decide whats right for you. I must admit its a dificult decison. Chris.

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19 Sep 07 #3626 by Sera
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My husband has an angry temper. On one occassion (April) - he punched me, and the bruises were documented.

I'd left the house, and his (female) business partner intervened, and said he desperately loved me, and would do whatever it took for me to return.

He booked counselling, (but Relate wouldn't see us because of 'active violence' ie: within the last 3 months, is 'active'). He called the mens group 'Respect' after the councillors referal.

I supported him in getting help. By July, (after he said he wanted divorce), I thought he was having a break-down, and he asked me to go to his GP, where he discussed alcohol and anger management. He voluntarilly chose to see a physciatrist.

It was only after his first trip to a solicitor, that he urgently decided I needed to be out of our MH !!!

After that, he involved the Police, (five calls out, five false allegations against me!)... and guess what? Not one of those Police references appear on his statement!

It backfired on him, that when the Police asked me about our relationship, they asked if I'd file the report on the earlier domestic violence from April. (I did and showed them the photos). He was arrested, made a statement, and he did not deny it.
The police asked why I didn't file for a non-mol order, and I replied that I remained dedicated with getting him continued help with his anger.

They said that I couldn't help him, if he didn't want help.

This is why I do not think he has a case against me, and why I'll set out to prove it's a desperate measure to move me out, and possibly move someone else in.

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19 Sep 07 #3648 by gone1
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Sera. I think the Police were right. You cant help him. All I can suggest is present your case as you did here. Answer the alagations with what you have. But it is the alagations that will be dealt with. Half an hour is not enough time to deal with this properly.

Take this with a pinch.

Keep away from this man. He is out to do you harm. Any man that hits a women is no good. Period. You cannot help or save him. Have no contact with this man as all your good intentions will backfire on you. In this world there are people that cannot be helped. I know I bang on about slotting my ex sometimes but I would never do it. Inspite of what she did to me. He is sick in the head. Any man that strikes a women is also sick. I know you do this becuase you love him but he is no good. Just deal with this case as best you can and walk away.

At the end of the day you are you and I am me. You dont have to take what I say. Hope this goes OK for you as you deserve better than him. He is a waste of a life. Chris.

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22 Sep 07 #3807 by Sera
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My ex has now added a further 'batch' of witness statements, (from his dodgy mates) all with yet more lies, malice, bad character references etc. I don't have the time, nor energy to deal with this sh*t before Monday morning!
What status do they have? (They basically only say they witnessed an arguement, between us), his sol is making a big case out of this. I have prepared an eight page statement.

At what point do I have to give his legal team my 'Statement'?

Ex demanded it off me today (so he could prepare yet more rubbish against me). I said I'd give it to his legal rep in Court. (12 noon - Monday).... he said he had a meeting with his sol that morning. I told him, court had said just to bring in on day...

Is there a time deadline I need to give my ex's sol my statement? Or just hand copy to them, (and judge) during the short half-hour hearing. I don't want to do anything wrong. But still self-repping!

Any advice peeps?

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23 Sep 07 #3808 by gone1
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Hiya. You must take your statement to the court and have it sworn before you can use it. There should be a place at the back of the doc for it. PM me if you need to see the format.

You send your sworn statement 2 days before the court hearing. The court will keep a copy to use in court so you need 2 coppies. Chris

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23 Sep 07 #3812 by Sera
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Erm, well I now have 13 pages, but no 'sworn' bit! It would be great if you could pm me the format. Since his additions turned up on Saturday, not sure how I'm supposed to have had my statement with the court Monday, since not two days left.

However, I have been to court before, (sued a kitchen company!), and I just took my 'bit's of paper, they were asked to refund me £4,000 Also, in my first divorce, self-repped for 18 months, again, order made in my favour.

I'm hoping that I can just read from my notes, (statement) or state my defense if they don't accept my typed statement. I believe his sol has so far charged him in the region of ten thousand for his griping 'he-said-she-said'.
He filed his case last weekend, (whereby I believe courts can charge thousands for weekend work). He had meetings also with his sol Sat and Sunday.


Fact remains, he is the one with the violent temper, he is the one 'projecting' on to me, and lying!

I think the court will not have time to even hear my statement either, and it will either be throw out, or more time needed.

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23 Sep 07 #3822 by gone1
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Hiya. I sent you the end of the doc. Check your mail. You cant use anything in court that has not been sworn. The court will disregard anything that is not sworn. Sorry no bits of paper ha ha.

Make sure that you double lines your own copy. Its very hard to find anything on the document otherwise. Ask me how I know? ha ha. Chris.

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