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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


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Our consultant service offers expert advice and support for people who are going to court over a fair financial settlement, for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.


Direct Access Barrister Needed !!

  • soulruler
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10 Oct 12 #360117 by soulruler
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Uc my case is also small but also complex in that my ex is very antangonistic.

So, keeping it to family proceedings (which it has not been now for several years not by my making) the costs in a small money divorce were to me £80,000 and to him £6,900 at the final hearing.

It has got way more contentious and difficult than that and is about to hit headlines especially as he is a down and out lier, he is saying that my mother is dead (claiming her assets) is claiming that he is not in a relationship, (he is now re-married) and is claiming that his is a case of need when he has a 20 year old downs syndrome son which he as abused for many years.

  • InnerPeace
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10 Oct 12 #360118 by InnerPeace
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Thanks all for your messages.

I live in Middlesex.
Please do let me know Barristers who charge flat fee or ping me link please as £2K is way too much.

Hi soulruler,
His car is under his mom name and she drives now. I dont care about it.

Both other cars are under my husband name and I am the named driver on both cars.
they were both bought during our marriage. We moved to UK in Nov 2008

He has closed his overseas bank account and that bank doesnt give statement after it was closed. So i cannot force him to declare.

I am unahappy about 1 thing, the FMH and our childs private nursery together cost arounf £1800 approx per month, he left in June and since August (when i got injunction on him) he hasnt been paying 50% on mortgage pymt and 50% of our child nursery payment. They are all going from my pocket.

I am still happy with 50-50 equity split as long as he agrees to payback 50% of his share of mortagge and nursery pymt that I have been putting since August 2012 till now.

Both he and I earn decent amount as we are directors of self employed limited company. So i dont need his spousal maintenance. He has been saying he wont give me a single penny, his mom has filled his ear that i am after his money, even after 7 yrs of marriage, he is a mamma''s boy, anyway, i dont need anything from him . But he should take 50% of his childs financial responsibility too. I am worried that he wont, but he is fighting for shared residence, which i am willing to give him. But he doesnt want 50-50 shared residence, Everything is as per his convenience.

I may have lost the track of wehat i was sayimg but, I have been betrayed by a man whom I loved the most in my life and always put his needs before mine and my childs. I was a fool, and on top, he is hiding his adultry by saying I was controlling / possessive etc all his mom''s word to justify his adultry. And when i told him i will Petition him for adultry, he agreed and next thing i know withing 4 days i am getting paper from court for Divorce on UB grounds and I have to pay the money if I defend the grounds. Really He is too much below my feet and i dont want anything absolutely ZERO from him for myself.

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10 Oct 12 #360119 by InnerPeace
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Dear Souldruler,

I am really sorry to hear about your case. Honestly such men are waste of space and I really hope he pays for what he has done to you. I belive in Karma, you pay for your deeds here, whether good or bad, and he will pay too.
Hang in there !!

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10 Oct 12 #360239 by soulruler
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In your case I would agree that the marriage has broken down but state that you do not agree with your husbands reasons and offer to pay half the costs of the divorce.

I believe that you can represent yourself as you are coming across as very rational. So I would return the Petition as an acknowledgement so that the divorce can proceed, if you think it necessary put your reasons why you believe the marriage has broken down and keep them relevent such as an inappropriate relationship with another woman - same thing but he is not acknoweldging adultery.

Then start preparing your Financial Docuemnts financial E and take your time with it. When it comes to the bank account overseas if he has closed it down there is no reason why he would not show the statement if he has nothing to hide so in the answers to his financial E I would mention that and ask for voluntary disclosure and if not forthcoming there should be a court order for disclosure (if he fails to comply he will then be in contempt of court).

If you really do not want to go to too much agravation and expense then also put in an open offer (so do not mark without prejudice) and put in a closing date and state that is in good faith to prevent too much court or solicitor costs and too much emotional distress.

He should be paying half the costs of the mortgage and half the childs costs especially if he wants proper access to his own daughter - actually even more so if he does not want to be a part of her life in reality.

Most barristers charge more than £2,000 as you generally need a consultation with them as they need to look at the documents and take your instructions and then need to be in court on the day or the days.

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10 Oct 12 #360288 by InnerPeace
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Hi Soulruler

Thanks a million for the feedback.

I was looking for this out of court option to settle the finance, didnt know I could do it.
So I have few questions:

1) When do i put in ''Open Offer'' ? I have to submit my form E by Nov 12.

2)When you say closing date should it be put close to FDR (which is Dec 7?)

3)This is what I was thinking financially:

-FMH (50-50 with him paying the 50% he hasnt paid in mortgage, he may argue he left to me dividend of 18K in April but from that amount we both had agreed to put some money in our child saving HISA and some in principal only towards mortgage, left 5 k is what has been used to run household / food / etc. I had to take dividend too to make up for my 10K solicitor bill and other expenses)

- Child (he should take 50% of child education responsibility till she leaves University or is 21. COnsidering I am Masters educated I want to maintain same education level for my daughter, hopefully judge can understand that)

- No Spousal Maintenance

- Emergency support - when I am between jobs, he should agree to pay his daughters education fee in full for 1 month.

- he can keep Volvo car ( as I dont want to sit where his mistress sits)

- I will keep 1K astra car.

Do u think above is ok?

By education i mean private education as we had agreed before but he may back trace saying his need to house himself ismore than paying for 50% of his childs private education, that wold be really a big blow.
Also since i am contracting there is very high job risk and i was being offered permanent position in the company but because of his bad mouthing I lost the offer. We work in same company.

Please let me know your advice.

Thanks

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10 Oct 12 #360297 by Yummy_Mummy
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Can you prove that he has badmouthed you which has influenced you not progressing or becoming a permanent employee?

If you can prove it and there are witnesses, - you can get it in writing, you can do him for slander and ruining your career chances in which case, you could be entitled to damages but you have to prove it.

I know slightly off the tangent to what you are discussing here but you need to be aware of this too.

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11 Oct 12 #360323 by soulruler
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Well it sounds reasonable to me, as far as the dividend goes the £10,000 spent on solicitors bills is not a surprise but how is he paying for his legal bills as in FPR you usually bear your own costs - is that equitable?

Personally, I would mention that he hasn''t been contributing to the mortgage but in the first open offer would not attempt to claim that back or the unpaid child maintenence. Put in the open offer which you can submit with your Form E exchange before you get into questions to be answered and I would put on the letter that the offer is open until the eve of the First Appointment in order to prevent more emotional and financial costs.

If you mark the offer open and put a closing date on it then you can continue to submit that offer to court should this then continue to an FDR and worse a final hearing. Mark it without prejudice and you cannot.

As he has a legal team and you are running out of cash remember that getting to a sensible financial settlement will help you both as the longer this goes on the
worse the financial situation is for you both and also for your child.

If you manage to get an order for the educational needs of your child up to 21 that will be an incredible acheivement - give it a go and state your reasons carefully.

I suppose it is off subject but I only got 0 levels at school and for a while now have wanted to do a Masters at Kings in Human Values and Contempory Global Issues. I got as far as filling in the application and talking to admissions about my reasons for wanting to study a masters without a degree and they were interested. I just have not had the time as I am so busy with my own case right now.

Still the point is that it is possible even if you are not funded by your parents to get into further education even in much later life (I am 49).

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