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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Do you need help going to court over a Financial Settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support for people who are going to court over a fair financial settlement, for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.


FDR advice

  • Talulahbelle10
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10 Oct 12 #360206 by Talulahbelle10
Topic started by Talulahbelle10
More advise needed please, sorry this is a bit long winded.....

I am fast approaching my FDR and have been waiting for my STBX to respond to my questionnaire and my narrative statement, he was given an order to respond to me by 5th October and I have only just received the documents today 10th October. Originally the judge had only ordered him to send me only the statement of issues but after I queried this my STBX was then ordered to respond to the questionnaire by 12th October, the court have also amended the questionnaire crossing at least four of what I feel to be important questions. I wondered at the time why they had done this but after receiving his paperwork today I can now see why. His solicitor has stated that the respondent does not feel that they are appropriate questions?? I am totally shocked that the court have allowed him to do this, it does say on the order that the amendments have been made without a court hearing and that representations from the parties may have leave to apply within 7 days of receipt of the order, as I am self repping I am not sure where this leaves me??? Can I write to the court to change this??

After reading through his responses to my questionnaire and statement of issues I am again totally shocked by his answers, they are all complete lies and most of them I can prove to be. One of the answers is totally outrageous and I am hoping that the judge will think this too. I had noticed payments from his local council being paid into his bank account monthly, I presumed this to be housing benefit, so I queried this as he is in full time employment. He has said that he has taken the payments from the council on behalf of a friend that was having trouble with their own bank account and that he is paying them back with cash sums as and when needed!!

I now really do not know what to do next, my head is telling me to get a solicitor for the final stage of this but my heart is telling me to carry on by myself, I have done everything up until now all on my own and feel that I have made a very good job of it, in my eyes just as good as any solicitor could have done as I know my ex better than anyone and know what a compulsive liar he is. What will happen in the FDR, will I get a chance to prove that his answers are complete lies. I must admit when I read his documents earlier I felt like throwing the towel in as I feel like I am running out of fight but after speaking to work colleagues who can see what an Absolute joke his responses are I feel I have got some of the fight back in me!!

Has anybody else had any experience of a similar situation, if so any advise would be great....Can I fight this without a solicitor???

  • QPRanger
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10 Oct 12 #360215 by QPRanger
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Hi Talulah

My advice (having been through the whole thing with an ex with a similar ability to tell the truth like yours) is to stick with it yourself as you have got this far. You are now in the hands of two individuals who will decide what happens now: the judge at the FDR and more importantly the judge at the FH (which is likely to be where things will end up if you have a lying ex who refuses to negotiate or compromise I''m afraid).

Whether these judges will choose to see through the procrastination and lies is luck of the draw.....

  • Talulahbelle10
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10 Oct 12 #360240 by Talulahbelle10
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Thank you for your reply, hope you had the outcome that you wanted in your case

  • upbeat
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10 Oct 12 #360276 by upbeat
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Hi there :)
This seems to be a tricky one a bit confused here the court has amended the questionaire? The only reason I can think they would do this is that it is not relavant to the proceedings? ie more personal than financial or not relevant to to proceedings? or because the solicitor is asking but I''m no solicitor but if it were me I would respond in writing to the Judge, if I thought it were relevant to the proceedings as it does state that either of party can within 7 days apply for leave, I would put what you are stating and why you think it relevant to your case and how it effects the orders that you asking for on a MCA25 level without actually stating extact MCA factor, if that makes sense :/ The reason I say dont qoute the MCA25 factor is if he is represented and you come across all knowing then it might come back to bite you in the arse just generalise the judge will get the gist or ask for more later if not. If the Judge realises that you are making the effort but you don''t know everything then hopefully you will gain his/her respect for trying. As long as what you asking for is just and resonable then... :)On the council thing then phone the council direct and ask them there opion they will be able to advise on whether this is legal or not. And is it relevant to your case? Do you think he is receiving this for rent...or? Everything you put forward must be relevant to your case and not being seen to just be having a dig at the respondent :)

I''m sure one of the wiser wiki''s will come along and input some more GOOD LUCK XX

  • Talulahbelle10
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10 Oct 12 #360296 by Talulahbelle10
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Hi, thank you so much for your help, I am definately going to ring the council in the morning, I had been wondering whether I should do this all evening, I have nothing to loose. I 100% think that he is claiming housing benefit. He included copies of his tax returns for the last two years with his form E and I asked for evidence that he had paid them as I have had a collecting agent calling at my house looking for him on behalf of the inland revenue! He is now saying that he has not paid them yet, so he has lied under oath on his form E, I hope this will go in my favour....

Thanks again for your advice

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10 Oct 12 #360305 by upbeat
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I would be asking the question if he is not paying his tax returns then where has the money gone and what is he spending it on? And why on his form E did he say he did pay it? the only thing is if the Judge thinks that he is financialy in hardship then this may compromise your case if you are asking for a greater degree of a split but then you can argue that he has put himself in this posistion to make his situation look worse than it is its something like diposation of assets but i''m sure youu are aware of this at this stage. The Judge has a duty to both of you to look at income, rehousing, pensions ect so as I said eariler you must make sure that you are asking for a settlement that is just and fair for both sides (I know this can be hard but it is important that you set your emotions to one side) it can sometime help to set out what he wants and put yourself in his shoes and argue a case for him on the MCA factors, as if you were representing him. This can put things into perspective and give an insight into what you may come up against with his solicitor and sometimes this can give you the answers that you are looking for in how to counter it and what offers would be reasonable.
The one good thing is though that he is represented so if you come up with a resonable offer and can give good reason uder the MCA for back up then a solicitor is more likley to try to talk sense into the ex and persude them to accept (but as I said before dont tell them the MCA just give them the gist and if they qoute it just acknowledge you have a limited understanding but your understanding is.....)

This is only my opion, although I am going through a similar situation and quite a few professionals have given me this advice dont start qouting case law and MCA factors but to have an understanding will never hurt :)

Big hugs just do your best the judges know that you aare an LIP and solicitors have to take regard of this. There is a president for them on this if you want a read, google it on the law society website I believe.

sorry cant be more help xx

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11 Oct 12 #360332 by Talulahbelle10
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I know exactly where all his money is going, which is where it all started.... in short, he has a gambling addiction and is very seriously in debt to, amongst other things, at least seventeen different lending companies and also with a secured personal loan (against the house) which he got out in both out names years ago. When we first split up, two years ago I tried to buy him out of the property but was declined by the building society as the personal loan is constantly in arrears and has given me a bad credit rating!

I have paid for everything for over a year, the mortgage, the two further advances which were taken out to pay off his gambling debts during the marriage. The only thing I don''t pay is the secured loan as it was part of the agreement when we split that it was one of the outgoings he would pay until we got everything sorted out......It is now over a thousand pound in arrears and the thing that angers me most in all of this is that he won £10,000.00 in a poker tournament which is almost the exact amount left on the loan but instead of clearing the loan he took himself off to Las Vegas for a holiday and claims to have used the rest of the money to pay his parents back some money that he owed them (which I don''t believe). He literally just walked away from the marriage and since finding out that I could not get the money to buy him, walked away from all his debts! Which is now why I have taken him to court to try and get the house signed over to me as a result of his bad behaviour, I was advised to do this by a solicitor when I received a letter from his solicitor try to force me to sell the house.

It''s all very messy as I am sure are most of the members situations are on this forum but I am determined to fight until the end, I know that I will probably have to end up selling the house which will leave me in a very bad position as I won''t be able to get a mortgage to buy another property because of my bad credit rating but Im not going down without a fight!!!

thanks xx

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