FDR in two weeks -terrified

Read lots here. Never posted
My FDR is in two weeks
Married 25 years
4children younger ones are 13, 19 (doing Alevels)and 21 with disabilities , needing long term care. Eldest lives with me but financially independent .
We both have pensions of equal amounts, (£400,000) and have four properties .
Sounds good, but I came from nothing and worked hard, as a mother and a professional to build up a property portfolio as well as my business,which I shared with my husband.
Petition is on his unreasonable behaviour , physical and emotional abuse of me and the kids.
Total pot is £1,400,000, but one of the properties was purchased as an investment for child with disability using mostly her disability allowance savings to provide a safety net of income for her in future.
Husband now refutes this and wants half of everything, including my business, even though he studied to qualify in a different area of specialism, that pays even better. But he insists that he must have half my business! We do not have a contract!
I''ve no idea what to expect, or offer.
I would like him to stay in the £300,000 house he is in now, take another £100,000 and his pension and let me have enough to keep my child''s investment property and a home for myself and the children.
Would a 70:30 split be reasonable considering he is not one to be trusted to support the children in the future?

I hope you have a good solicitor, did you consult a barrister?.

You don`t mention age or respective incomes?.

Generally speaking when assets exceed basic needs the surplus is divided 50-50.

Will the judge encourage ring fencing money (property in your case) for a disabled child, well much depends on the nature of the disability, will the child ever live independently?.

Thanks for replying Dukey.

I am nearly 55 , he is 51.

We are self employed doctors.we share a practice, which was primarily mine as he has a higher degree , a consultant position in another speciality, which he stopped working in since divorce started and decided to take over my practice.

His income was £250,000, but he says he can''t get work now! It was contracts. There are salaried posts for £110,000 available for him.

My income was £87,000, but due to depression I will only be able to work part time, though after this is all over I may go back if we''ll enough to full time but with kids as well, difficult.

I am in fact meeting with my barrister this afternoon .

My daughter with disabilities will be able to live independently I hope , but will never be able to earn much income. She has grown up in a comfortable lifestyle and all her disability allowance from age 2-18 was ploughed into our property with the intention that it was her safety net.

We live in Surrey and housing is q expensive. He is in one of our rental properties. A 3 bed with garage and garden.
I need a 4 bed near my sons school which will cost about £700,000.with that , I can buy an investment prop for my daughter if necessary.
I really don''t know what to propose as a deal for the FDR
I assume it has to be one the judge would see as reasonable

Any advice?
Seen Barrister

Says I must deal with Stbx''s attempts at my character assassination , which was such complete lies it seemed a waste of time.
Also, our business , no decision possible yet how it can be split.
Alternative is we dissolve it and we Both lose , big Time

I have spent 10 hours with solicitors dealing with stbx previous diatribes of false accusations which I had chosen to ignore. I had felt his mental state had influenced him in behaving like a moron and flinging stupid accusations with absolutely no basis to them. I had clear bank account and email exchanges that showed his lies.
However , it seems being innocent isn''t enough, you have to spend time and a lot of money proving on paper that you are innocent.
Sorry, this is turning into a blog!!

FDR is 1week away, I have made a ''without prejudice'' proposal.

Should I ask the other side to have a meeting of some sort between the solicitors or telephone negotiations to try to reach some agreement before FDR?

My solicitor does not seem to think we can achieve anything even thinks we will go to FH knowing my stbx character .

Is there any way we can push them to act quicker?

Why spend ten hours on allegations, were they financial?.

Has your barrister written a report to help guide you in what you should be looking for?.

Just because you both earn well doesn''t mean you can afford to chuck money at lawyers.

If you can have a round table meeting pre FDR then do, if that can`t happen or fails then the FDR is the best chance to settle, listen to the judge, with any luck you`ll have a circuit judge.

If all else fails its FH and your both in the lap of the gods.

Just to clear up income and future income potential, its not uncommon for high earners to suddenly take a massive dip in claimed income, in your ex`s case £150,000 potential drop, does anyone reading this think a judge will buy that?.

Any judge looking at those self employed will look at historic income and future potential, usually they look at the last three years, you are both doctors, its easy to show what you can earn depending on respective specialisms and experience.