Thank Chris, you have some problems, I could not handle, but I am not a violent person, and can handle, most thing’s. What happen to me was the 22 year old, let the my dog out on To the road, I called him a stupid boy, he got in my way Stopping trying to get the dog back, he said f** off to me a got him out of my way, little judo,did not hurt him, got the dog back, and went to Bed wife and him and girlfriend, went to police station, with air rifle, Next minute, I was called out by six armed officers and three unarmed, guns pointing at me thank you:woohoo: And arrested and locked me up (I did have a gun licence, know surrendered) No guns! they don’t give you a licence in the first place if you are violent, even after this I will not resort to violence’s
Divorce is a mind game! As Chris says,
And in a non-mol order, the twisting of actual events, turns into weirdness once presented in court on your ex's sworn affidavit:
Examples: (And I'm blushing at posting the first one)!
1: I was telling my ex how my friend met this new bloke, and her new lover wanted her to dig her spiked heels into his chest, and spit in his face whilst being 'intimate'...
Well, that was 'bedroom talk'. And when I told my husband this, he says he'd quite like me to try the dominatrix bit, and spit on him! (I did it once, wearing some Anne Summers PVC gear) not too fussed about that whole scene...
Turns up in court in non-mol order, that I SPAT ON MY HUSBAND!!!!!!
2: We booked an 'extended honeymoon' in Morocco. He calls me to say he's taking someone else. (Have e-mails to prove he was trying to change my flight booking into someone elses name!).... I replied to him "I hope you die in a plane crash, not everyone else, just you"!
Court bundle includes message: "I wished my husband dead"
.... so it all gets twisted.
Advice please: When it comes to Ancillary Relief.. How much can I bill him for 'specialist sexual favours"!
Steve, listen to ChrisM. You will be pushed to the max just so your Ex can justify to herself that she was right. Mine did (and continues to this day). My wfie applied for a non mol order on me.
We got to the Judges chamber and instead of going all the way to Court, the Judge asked if we could agree on an undertaking, which we did (basically we agreed not to contact each other except about contact with our children and it had to be in writing (email basicaly). The Judge made in quite clear that it was a cross undertaking so we both signed.
If I was you, I would try the same tack. The reason is that if you do agree an undertaking and for whatever reason your Ex says you have breeched it, the onus is then on her to take you back before a judge for them to decide IF you have actually breeched.
The point I am making I guess is that if you don't get an undertaking in place, and it goes to court and the court case doesn't go your way and a non mol order is placed and you break that, she can then call the Police to arrest you - BIG difference.
Go for an undertaking, they are normally in place for six months. Be carefull of the wording though because once you have agreed it, you are making a promise to the court so make sure you are happy with the promise.
Well said ChrisM. I agree with you there is no excuse for voilence. I was in an abusive marriage and kept thinking I deserved the abuse that I must have done something wrong but when the abuse was aimed at my children I got out they deserve better than that. I stuck it out for 24 yr and it is only now that I am out of that situation and have had counselling that I realise I was not to blame or my children. Once a bully and abuser always. Now my children thank me for getting them out of it. That speaks volumes.