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non -molestation order

  • WOZZA
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28 Oct 07 #5425 by WOZZA
Topic started by WOZZA
hi all to cut a long story short my wife is putting an occupancy order and non molestation order,she left me last year for 3 months then came home saying it was post natal depression 2 years after our 1st son was born,
the problem is she is six months pregnant woke up about six weeks ago and said i had ignored her since we found out she was pregnant so she wanted me to move out for abit and give here some space,so i did,she then told me that if i stayed away we could try again to sort our marraige out,we whent out for meals /had takeaways.then i told her i could not afford to stay away anylonger ,and she said if i move back in she would divorse me ,and that is what she is going to do but she wants me out the house so bad,when i moved back she hit me and called the police on me (they noted it and did nothing)
she was diognosed with depression just before she wanted space but the nhs took 6 weeks to gat a letter to her for a counciler,in the mean time i had been kicked out
i have not been violent towards her all i wanted to do was sort things out now she has turned nasty taking off wedding rings and saying i never wanted our baby
i have no money to pay for anywhere else to live,everything seems to be going to plan for her
if this order comes in i wont even be allowed at the birth

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28 Oct 07 #5438 by sexysadie
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It does sound as though much of this behaviour stems from depression. It is very hard if you are depressed and have a young child, and she may really feel that you have not been very attentive for a bit. I expect she is also fearful of what will happen once she has had the baby. If you have had postnatal depression once you really don't want to have it again, and it does make you feel a bit uneasy about having another baby and how much support you will get.

I don't suppose your wife is planning this at all. She probably does need some space. Maybe the counselling will help. If she is willing you could go to couples counselling (eg. from Relate) as well.

Sadie

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29 Oct 07 #5442 by Sera
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Your wife can put in any orders she wants, (as my ex is doing!) BUT: You also have the right under the British Justice system, TO DEFEND such orders, which is also what I am doing, because it's based on LIES and SLANDER!!!!

That's pretty much all you can do. The process may take a few months.

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29 Oct 07 #5443 by Sera
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WOZZA wrote:

i have no money to pay for anywhere else to live,


There's a lot of advice here, on the 'Shelter' website.

england.shelter.org.uk/advice/advice-6476.cfm

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29 Oct 07 #5449 by WOZZA
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so if i just let her carry on and not upset her she might chill abit,i keep saying it might be depression to myself but she is being a right nasty cow didn`t think she could be like this
so it might take a few months to get these orders can i contest them cos the baby might be on its way and she might be thinkin straighter by then.
i want things to work out but she just keeps telling me i`m a crap husband ,nothing in common ,and i don`t want the baby.
SERA read your spitting thing that was abit harsh on you whatever happens in the bedroom should stay there,not be put through a court

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29 Oct 07 #5450 by Sera
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If you leave, she could claim 'Abandonment'. (She sounds like she just might be doing this!?)

If she goes to court for an 'Occupancy Order', you will first have a short hearing, (about half hour) to talk through with the judge. With my ex's application, we had that first hearing within a week of application. It is now allocated a full day (14th Nov) because I wish to defend his allegations.

These orders are temporary. So, it could eb just for six months, and bearing in mind that she is having a baby, that may increase her chances becuase hers and the babys needs will probably be paramount.

If she claims you're violent, it may be the judge temporarilly remove you, although you still have a right to defend her allegations.

Accepting a temporary order might be your best option, and quickest option, and hopefully things would have calmed down. Maybe even once she's had the baby, she'd appreciate extra help around the house!

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29 Oct 07 #5451 by WOZZA
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is there any point in trying to defend myself ,
sounds like i will prob be packing my bags again,and hope she calms down

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