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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Do you need help going to court over a Financial Settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support for people who are going to court over a fair financial settlement, for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.


What grounds?

  • frannym4
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14 Nov 07 #6667 by frannym4
Topic started by frannym4
Hello, just joined as am a bit confused as to how to aproach my divorce....split from husband just over 2 years ago, he had an affair. Have since met new partner and had baby in May. Want to get divorce started but not sure whether to go on grounds of adultry or that we've been apart for 2+ years.

The prob is I have had no contact with ex for 10 months and I had to go bankrupt in March due to debts that were left from marriage and all in my name (unfortunaetly), I think reciever in bankruptcy has been chasing ex for money so don't know how "nice" he's going to be about divorce.. If he's unlikely to agree to adultry just to be horrible, should I go with the fact we've been apart for 2 years? Can he argue against this and say he didn't want split (he did spend a couiple of months trying to get back with me in begining). When I rang court for general advice the lady mentioned something about as long as the split agreed by both parties.

Sorry for ramble, hope someone can shed some light!

Thanks

  • sexysadie
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14 Nov 07 #6668 by sexysadie
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I would try two years separation with his consent as a first try as it is less likely to make him angry than citing adultery.

Sadie

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14 Nov 07 #6672 by Camberwick green
Reply from Camberwick green
Its the best way to go about it, as Sadie said, this is less likely to anger him than if you try to shift blame onto his shoulders

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14 Nov 07 #6677 by loobyloo
Reply from loobyloo
Thats the best thing 2 yrs sep. get it over and done with you have your own family to concentrate on... forward you go girl

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14 Nov 07 #6691 by frannym4
Reply from frannym4
Thankyou for the advice, sounds like the best route. Just a query though...can he say he didn't consent to the seperation and delay things that way?

Thanks :)

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15 Nov 07 #6699 by attilladahun
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One word of warning -- if you have a disgruntled husband he may attempt to attach conditions on him agreeing to the divorce example he will agree to the divorce provided you accept a financial settlement less than you may wish for. In any event may not work especially after a recent court of appeal decision which is at present proceeding to the House of Lords as reported in the Times today.

do not forget that the other party could withdraw their concerned at any time even just before the decree nici.

you could pursue a claim for unreasonable behaviour and the relationship your husband has with his girlfriend, whether this is adulterous or otherwise could be cited as one element of his unreasonable behaviour.

reasonably long marriage it is not difficult to think of examples of a husband's unreasonable behaviour. If necessary, could suggest firstly separation, secondly his adultery but not naming anybody is that will not be necessary if costs are not be claimed against that third-party and as a backstop provision unreasonable behaviour.

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15 Nov 07 #6700 by attilladahun
Reply from attilladahun
One word of warning -- if you have a disgruntled husband he may attempt to attach conditions on him agreeing to the divorce example he will agree to the divorce provided you accept a financial settlement less than you may wish for. In any event may not work especially after a recent court of appeal decision which is at present proceeding to the House of Lords as reported in the Times today.

do not forget that the other party could withdraw their concerned at any time even just before the decree nici.

you could pursue a claim for unreasonable behaviour and the relationship your husband has with his girlfriend, whether this is adulterous or otherwise could be cited as one element of his unreasonable behaviour.

reasonably long marriage it is not difficult to think of examples of a husband's unreasonable behaviour. If necessary, could suggest firstly separation, secondly his adultery but not naming anybody is that will not be necessary if costs are not be claimed against that third-party and as a backstop provision unreasonable behaviour.

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