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divorce hearing

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18 Nov 07 #6955 by hopeful1
Topic started by hopeful1
i have a hearing next month for defended divorce.has anyone already been through this. i am very anxious and would appreciate any info or advice.

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19 Nov 07 #6988 by gone1
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I have never heard of anyone defending a divorce. From what I have heard its frutless. Let us know if you are successful and why are you defending? Chris

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19 Nov 07 #7002 by flower2
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sorry to hear that, does sound unusual, tho i know of somebody it happened to and they came to an agreement in the end. I will accept this only with these retrictions still going on. Cheaper if adultery, does he not want the divorce maybe?

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19 Nov 07 #7063 by hopeful1
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i am the petitioner for unreasonable behavior and he is defending as he does not want divorce.i know it is rare but he refuses 2 years separtion and 5 years is too long to wait to move on so i feel i have no choice. i hope there is someone who has been through this.

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19 Nov 07 #7082 by 80SGIRLWOKEUP
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stay calm he is probably just bluffing and will consent to the divorce at the last minute. My husband tried this tatic but consented in the end, however i still have not got my Decree Nisi as judge was not satisfied with our arrangements kids. 18 months of turmoil and what i have learnt is that whole divorce business is not straight 4ward! It aint over til its over! Hang in their.!

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20 Nov 07 #7152 by hopeful1
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i intend to hang in.He is now trying to ajourn the hearing on medical grounds.The judge has asked for doctors letter.great he could prolong the agony

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20 Nov 07 #7163 by attilladahun
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He is clutching at straws in all probability.

You solicitor should make a time bombed open proposals which advises the H that in the event he confirms in writing within 14 days he will withdraw his answer and thus permit the divorce to proceed undefended you will NOT seek costs of the divorce. It should be pointed out that after that 14 day period you will seek costs even if after that date he changes his mind and seeks a settlement.

You must understand that Judges have better things to do that listen to the minutiae of a failed relationship and will put H under great pressure to compromise...but frightening him with the likely cost he may face if he loses.

As long as your solicitor is happy the behaviour is strong enough you will succeed.

Remember the test for unreasonable behaviour is not OBJECTIVE it is SUBJECTIVE. Does this Petitioner (likely a sensitive person) finds the behaviour of the H unreasonable.

One of the allegations I persuaded the Court to accept was for a neurotic client whose H deliberately wound her up by squeezing the top of the toothpaste tube [when they weren't plastic!!!]

Your H actions themselves are a bit sad as he clearly cannot come to terms with the breakdown.

Remember it may still be a smart move to arrange to seee relate with him... Relate help parties come to terms with a relationship breakdown as much as any attemptef reconcilliation.

In this case he will jump at the chance...though make it clear you still believe the marriage is at an end and wish to attend Relate to discuss the issues of the divorce.

The Court will readily agree a modest adjournment -indeed it is obliged to do so in those circumstances.

99.9% certain that if you hold your position the Judge will force his hand either before of after a hearing.

Use the costs threat it usually works.

Best of luck

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