- Posts: 85
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In her petition she alleges that I intimidate her but most of her claims are that I have systematically abused the children physically and mentally through out the marriage. Sorry but this I do not and will never accept. I could have worn any old crap she had said about her and me.
We have attended counseling in the past to no avail.
Our case has been considered not suitable by the mediation service as there are mental health issues (my wife has bipolar) and social services have been involved and the police.
She likes to get me arrested!! 3 times so far! If you tell the police that some one has threatened to kill you they are now obliged to arrest you and question you under caution. You are also expected to give DNA, fingerprints and an ID photograph!
Hence the reason I've moved away she has set out to try and destroy me. I came close to the point of a nervous breakdown 2 years before I manage to pull myself together.
She has self harmed on many occasions (started long before our marriage) hospitalizing herself with overdoses and cutting herself. She is now addicted to sleeping tablets and abuses alchohol.
I stopped loving my wife a long time ago and the grieving process is well and truly over for me I'm glad to be rid of her. She currently has some else living in the house who she meet in a mental health unit 2 1/2 years ago. though only formed a relationship with him 6 months ago. Whilst she was in the unit I had to have time of work to look after the 4 children and is the reason I stuck it so long. This ultimately lead to me loosing the job as I couldn't give assurances when I was going to return to work and that it wasn't likely to reoccur.
This guy has a police record for harassment. the neighbors say it's a volatile relationship he shouts and swears all the time has smashed up her car in an accident. The children don't like him and 1 of my sons who is autistic has complained to me that Will " he always use the F word". My neighbors say that the children's behavior has deteriorated since I left the noise coming from the FMH has increased significantly.
My wife moved out and took the boys in November 2005 into rented accommodation. She later complained I didn't try to stop her!! She got involved with a man knowing he was on bail for beating another woman. He then beat her severely ( my children in the house) and has recently finished a 12 month prison sentence for these of offences. He also came and threatened me twice.She then moved back and agreed to a reconciliation and said she would not instruct her solicitors again.
I have been advised that I'm not likely to get custody of the children until something serious happens to one of them!
My wife has had solicitors acting on her behalf on and off for the last 3 1/2 years and has told them to stop divorce proceedings twice in the past it's been like a game of cat and mouse. I'm the mouse and it's like she can end the game when she wants!
I can't see what difference it makes to the boys if we don't get divorced for 2 years or maybe even 5. The house is paid for they are all settled in school so have no reason to move.She is asking for a 60/40 split as a deferd payment. My youngest son is only 6 so I could wait for up to 12 years for any money. She is now asking for maintenance for herself, pension sharing order, Property adjustment and lump sum order.
So I'm playing a waiting game.
I can't afford to buy a house and living at my parents it's difficult to have all 4 boys come and stay. It occurs to me with no divorce the courts have no powers to make financial orders. If the divorce is dismissed maybe I could use my pensions as a deposit for a house? I'm about to start pension with my new employer.