A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Lines open: Monday to Friday 9am-5pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info


What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Do you need help going to court over a Financial Settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support for people who are going to court over a fair financial settlement, for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.


Becoming confused about self repping

  • Robert1977
  • Robert1977's Avatar Posted by
  • Premium Member
  • Premium Member
More
17 Feb 08 #14225 by Robert1977
Topic started by Robert1977
Ok.

I cannot afford a solicitor and I imagined mediation would not work for us as, sitting together during sessions would probably only amount to arguments. I have therefore requested we try to settle things via negotiation via her solicitor.

I had the impression he would write to and I would reply until we had reached a mutual agreement.

Am I mistaken? When does court and their decisions come into it? Is it only if we cannot agree on something?

Could we do this via correspondance or have I got the completely wring idea?

I understand a court appearance would be necesary to finalise any agreement but from what I read it seems there may be a lot more to it than that?

Do I have to stand up and cross examine my ex wife etc? Do I have to defend my case? Are there multiple hearings?

I thought we could work it out together. Thanks in advance.

  • attilladahun
  • attilladahun's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
18 Feb 08 #14228 by attilladahun
Reply from attilladahun
I cannot afford a solicitor and I imagined mediation would not work for us as, sitting together during sessions would probably only amount to arguments.
[mediation could be done with 2 mediators one for you and one for W if there are difficulties such as this but costs are higher]

I have therefore requested we try to settle things via negotiation via her solicitor.

I had the impression he would write to and I would reply until we had reached a mutual agreement. [Pretty well that but there has to be mutual disclosure of finances first...standard procedure is both to complete and swear form E with the mandatory enclosures]

Am I mistaken? When does court and their decisions come into it? Is it only if we cannot agree on something? [Hopefully after agreement a Minute of Agreement is prepared and signed by both parties & solicitors and filed with the Court for approval + statement of financial information Form M1 (much shorter than form E) and £30 Court fee.]

The Court can approve an order BUT ONLY on or after Decree Nisi has been made. The order is effective on the Decree Absolute.

The Court process starts when either H or W files Form A. This is done if either party feel the negotiations are not getting anywhere or when there is a need for an order sooner rather than later.

Could we do this via correspondance or have I got the completely wring idea?
[If you wish]

I understand a court appearance would be necesary to finalise any agreement but from what I read it seems there may be a lot more to it than that?
[see above usually done by paperwork but if the financial application procedure has started ("called ancillary relief" as financials are ancillary to the divorce suit) then if a hearing is approaching eg 1st Appointment (FDA) or 2nd FDR Financial Dispute Resolution hearing the settlement can be approved by the Judge then.

Without approval of Court the order is NOT binding in the main.

Do I have to stand up and cross examine my ex wife etc? Do I have to defend my case? Are there multiple hearings? [No that is only at a final hearing..rare as most cases settle at or before FDR hearings].

I thought we could work it out together.

[You may well do..hopefully]

Thanks in advance [Youre welcome]

  • Robert1977
  • Robert1977's Avatar Posted by
  • Premium Member
  • Premium Member
More
18 Feb 08 #14231 by Robert1977
Reply from Robert1977
Many thanks. We have done all the divorcing parts up to the point we can prior to the financial settlement. We are now in a position to exchange finances, although we have an idea of what we want out of it. We would love a Clean Break but unfortunately have 3 children.

I would like to offer her the house and my equity in return for her to request no ongoing payments from me. She agrees but do you think the courts would approve as there are children? The equity more than covers any SM or CM which would be payable over the years.

  • Mrs Ingledew
  • Mrs Ingledew's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
18 Feb 08 #14236 by Mrs Ingledew
Reply from Mrs Ingledew
CM is done by the CSA. It is outside the divorce and finances so even though you go for a Clean Break i.e. no SM there will still be payments for your children.

  • Vail
  • Vail's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
18 Feb 08 #14245 by Vail
Reply from Vail
Robert1977,

The pounds that leave your pocket don't care what they're called but you and your xtb ought to make sure that any money paid over includes CSA payments which are highlighted as such.

Even if your xtb is agreeing not to claim now, she may change her mind in the future, not necessarily through caprice but because of real and true necessity.

In the case of the latter it would be better for you to be in the position of contributing through choice, after all you may have your own financial obligations. Unfortunately the CSA won't give a fig for those.

Also don't forget to agree defined child contact.

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11