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Does STBX have the right to contact me?

  • LosingBattle
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30 Jul 12 #346056 by LosingBattle
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I totally understand where you''re coming from Zonked, but unfortunately this time is the straw that broke the camels back. Every holiday has been met with her unreasonable demands & rules & whims that must be met. Enough is enough!
There is absolutely no reason why 1 of my 4 proposals is not an option other than her exerting her control over me. The 80 mile drive is 80 miles one-way, then 80 miles plus for me to return home & I have to go to work the next day. I don not consider that that is acceptable.
I have no intention of creating a scene when I go to collect the children, I will wait in the car for the usual, agreed 10 minute period. If they do not come out, then I will have no choice but to leave without them.
I do not want to cause my children unnecessary upset, but it is not me who is causing it, it is her.
Thank you for your opinion, but without wanting to sound rude, there is far more to the situation than you will ever know & that I am willing to write on a forum!

  • Ekaterine
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30 Jul 12 #346064 by Ekaterine
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I can see her frustration.
Poor children caught up in this.
Why can''t you keep the childrn for a few extra days when you get back from your holiday?

  • MrsMathsisfun
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30 Jul 12 #346066 by MrsMathsisfun
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I can really understand where you coming from LosingBattle.

My partner also feels that it is him that always backs down and gives in to her demands.

My partner ex can never see how unreasonable she is being. All the child care arrangements are in place to suit her.

my partners latest battle is over changing the contact pattern. They have had the same weekend pattern for 3 years and quite frankly its soul destroying knowing that this pattern seems to be set for the next 10years.

The ex just can''t see the problem with the children continually missing out on things just because it falls on the wrong weekends.

Her argument is that the pattern has been fixed for 3 years so why hasn''t my partner arranged things to fit into the pattern. Sorry but life''s not like that. I dont think the local balloon festival will change to a different weekend just to fit in with her pattern!! He has thought of writing to the local education authority in the hope they will change how school holidays land so it fits in with her pattern but he isnt holding out much hope.

Anyone know who we can ask to change the number of weeks in the year so that they are uneven and stop this groundhog year!!

All he wants is for the pattern to change over once a year so that the pattern falls differently. He has more chance of walking to the moon.

As I previously said he deals with it now by just asking for the something without repeatedly offering different options. He know the answer will be no, but then he records it as another example of her inflexibility.

His only option seems to be another long battle potentially ending up in court, but having spent the last 3 years trying to get the divorce and finances sorted, he just doesnt want to continue to stress out the children.

  • LosingBattle
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30 Jul 12 #346070 by LosingBattle
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Ekaterine, unfortunately to pay the mortgage to keep the STBX in the 5 bed house,pay the CM,pay my rent & my bills I have to go to work. Something which she is choosing not to do & something she doesn''t appreciate how hard I do. I would love to be able to have my children for another few days or even hours,but unfortunately I can''t take the 3 of them to work with me at 9am the day after the holiday!
Actually there is an option of spending the following days with their grandparents.
If you read the 4 options available to her you will see that none of them require either of us to miss out on our holidays,neither does it involve any hardship on her part.There is absolutely no reason why the children cannot spend the few days or a week with my parents (whom they love spending time with).
This is purely a spiteful, vindictive,pathetic woman attempting to exercise power & control over the one thing in her life she thinks she can - nothing more. She chose to book a holiday outside of my dates,so she''s lucky I''ve actually come up with some solutions rather than quoting her from last years row when she said she would never book tickets without ensuring there was childcare in place. She''s a flaming hypocrite!

  • MrsMathsisfun
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30 Jul 12 #346086 by MrsMathsisfun
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Losing battle.

Are you divorced or still in the process of sorting out the finances?

  • Ekaterine
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30 Jul 12 #346096 by Ekaterine
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Ah yes, I have found the four options now! Yes, that would seem the best option for them to go to your parents. I would put that one option to her, state that you have the chilren''s best interests at heart and trust that she will do the same.
I don''t feel you will enjoy your holiday at all if you drive off without them. It would be awful for you and them.

  • LosingBattle
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30 Jul 12 #346236 by LosingBattle
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@ Mathisfun ... Still on going .... 3 years & still on going ... It''s getting boring & tiring now!!
@Ekaterine ... We have put all 4 options to her & she is so unreasonable that none of them are acceptable & she has to think up the only unfeasible option she can, that she knows will cause us & the children the maximum inconvenience ... Total disregard for the children & their long journey time! She will need to go to collect them when she returns, from wherever they are, so she''s not saving herself a journey either.
No, this is pure viciousness & control.
My partner & I have concluded that we will go to collect the children & if they aren''t out within the allotted 10 minute period we will go away without them, much as it will cause us & their grandparents heartache I feel I need to be resilient this time. She has upset every holiday I have organised & I have always acquiesced for an easy life, but I cannot continue this farce ad infinitum ... I need to make a stand & hopefully put an end to this ridiculous behaviour every time I want to spend time with my children.

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