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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


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Does STBX have the right to contact me?

  • MrsMathsisfun
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31 Jul 12 #346312 by MrsMathsisfun
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Do you think that once the financial stuff is sorted she might be better re contact?


You said in one of your posts that contact is the only thing she has control over, maybe that''s why she is being so difficult?

How far along the financial process are you?

My partners financial stuff took 3 very stressful years too, in the end the agreement was what was suggested at the beginning. The only ones who gained were the lawyers!!

The biggest issue my partner has is dealing with a passive aggressive who wont make a decision in case its the wrong one!! My partner is hoping that eventually his ex will see that she is being unreasonable and that she cant control him any longer and things will start to get easier.

Hopefully you will get your holiday with your children and that things get sorted

  • LosingBattle
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31 Jul 12 #346349 by LosingBattle
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Unfortunately, knowing how she behaved throughout our marriage & since we split, I don''t think she will ever change. I think she has some emotional problems & would benefit from seeing either a counsellor or psychiatrist. I don''t say that out of malice.
It is amazing when I think about our marriage & what I put up with throughout it - mainly for the sake of our kids. Hindsight is a wonderful thing!
She has shown her true colours since we split & has shown that our kids are nothing more than another possession to fight over.
We''re 3 years down the line & all that has been achieved so far is a decri Nisi.
I have had my financial disclosure ready since the start, but have been constantly fobbed off by her solicitor(s) to the point where my solicitor has finally filed for form E. (She however, thinks that she has done absolutely nothing wrong, I am the one holding up procedures & she has now threatened me to produce my Form E or she''ll take me to court!)

I''m hoping that everything can/will go to court asap. I know it costs money (I''m fed up of people telling me that! Do you think I want to throw all my money at this?!) but when dealing with someone who cannot be reasoned with & whom changes the rules as & when she likes to suit herself, court is the only way something can be agreed & rubber stamped meaning she cannot change it on a whim.

We shall see what happens!

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31 Jul 12 #346362 by MrsMathsisfun
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Your ex sound so much like my partner ex!!

I have come to the conclusion she is this way because she is so insecure and needs to be in control.

My partner ex was the one who ended the marriage so you would think she would want to just get on with her life. (she probably thinks the same about my partner!!)

What I cant cope with is the inflexibility of the woman. I just wish she would put into action her favourite verbal comment which she is forever saying that she will always put ''''the needs of the children first.''''

Funny the ''''needs of the children'''' always mean she gets to put her social life before anything else!!

(rant over!)

  • u6c00
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31 Jul 12 #346372 by u6c00
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Oh how familiar Mathis!

  • LosingBattle
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31 Jul 12 #346427 by LosingBattle
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Mathisfun ... You sound like me!
That is the ex''s favourite one liner! If only her actions reflected her words!
The whole argument at the moment is cos she booked her ''adults only'' holiday to come back 2 days after my holiday with the kids. She gave absolutely no thought to their welfare & where they would likely end up staying, she just thought of her own selfish needs & booked it & now I''m meant to bow to her after thiught wishes on childcare?! This after she sent me a snotty email saying that she would never book tickets without first liaising with me about childcare arrangements! Clearly her idea of liaising is actually just demanding & telling! Hypocrite!
Hence why I wanted to know whether she had the right to contact me in the first place, (the original question if this post) cos I got sick of countless shitty emails from her!
Your conclusion about being insecure & needing to be in control is spot on. Unfortunately these are sad, vindictive women who''s children''s needs are the very last thing on the list. They are nothing more than another possession to be argued over.
I can confidently say that I have always acted in my children''s best interests, backing down on so many occasions to her whims & fancies just to ensure that I saw them. She however, cannot say the same - well, she can say it, but she will have difficulty showing the proof.
Thanks again for all your help :)

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11 Aug 12 #348837 by LosingBattle
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***** UPDATE ******
Justto let you know that the STBX did not allow the children to come away on holiday with me & my parents as none of the 5 options of childcare I offered were suitable for her! subsequently the poor children have missed out on a holiday & instead have been dumped on their grandfather whilst she goes on her adults only week away!

I hope the judge throws the book at her!!

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11 Aug 12 #348847 by Action
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So sorry to hear that. I really don''t understand how some people''s minds work - poor kids.

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