A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Lines open: Monday to Friday 9am-5pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info

What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.

Do you need help going to court over a Financial Settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support for people who are going to court over a fair financial settlement, for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.

Does STBX have the right to contact me?

  • sillywoman
  • sillywoman's Avatar
  • User is blocked
  • User is blocked
13 Aug 12 #349228 by sillywoman
Reply from sillywoman
Our girls are 21,19 and 16 - so not babies. Unfortunately, the way he sees it is that we are a package and if he can''t have me he doesn''t want the girls.

That is why I admire fathers like you, fathers who care and can separate their ex from their children.

I cannot understand how your ex could have gone on a holiday knowing her kids were not having one. Not only would my conscience not allow it, I would be as miserable as sin, especially as the oldest is 15.

It is the oldest that you need to "get" to, because I reckon at the moment he or she is feeling very very sad.

  • LosingBattle
  • LosingBattle's Avatar Posted by
  • Premium Member
  • Premium Member
13 Aug 12 #349254 by LosingBattle
Reply from LosingBattle
I agree, I think that under the teenage (15) facia of shrugs & grunts of ''I don''t care'', he is really affected by the whole divorce process. He is the only one who really understands what''s gone on & what''s going on.
He is the hardest one to communicate with, especially when I have the other two with me. Trying to actually get him to sit down & open up is near on impossible.
The middle one (Boy 9) is quite emotional so I''m tentative about approaching him. After the debacle of this holiday though, I''m going to try & sit him down & talk to him. I think he has a lot of questions & is quite confused about things & I think that now is the time to explain things & allay his fears.
The youngest (Girl 6) doesn''t really understand what''s going on is permanent. She still thinks that her mum & I will get back together. I explain that this isn''t the case & hope that in time she will come to understand the situation. I think that her age & innocence is the only thing that is almost protecting her from all of this nonsense (apart from issues that affect her directly like the holiday).

I hope that your girls see their father for what he truly is. He is a very silly man who will regret the years that he has missed out on & that can never be retrieved or relived. I hope that I can walk my daughter down the aisle one day - something which fills every dad with immense pride - your ex, will not & it is all of his own doing. You must be very proud of the job that you have done bringing your daughters up by yourself & you will reap the rewards that come with that. :)

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11

The modern, convenient and affordable way to divorce.

No-Fault Divorce £179

We provide the UK's lowest cost no-fault divorce service, managed by a well respected firm of solicitors. 

Online Mediation £250

Online mediation is a convenient and inexpensive way to agree on a fair financial settlement.

Consent Order £259

This legally binding agreement defines how assets (e.g. properties and pensions) are to be divided.

Court Support £250

Support for people who have to go to court to get a fair divorce financial settlement without a solicitor.