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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.


Worn out & I haven't started proceedings yet

  • bloomp
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08 Jan 08 #10244 by bloomp
Topic started by bloomp
I've spent the afternoon reading various people's posts about their experiences & I have to admit I've been close to tears more than once.
Having been married 25 years last July I am watching the youngest of my three sons reach 16 this April & planning to end the relationship that brought it all about.
I'd like to say that the split going as well as can be expected and that no one is really to blame for the breakup - we just grew apart - I'd like to say that but, the whole business is tearing us apart (ha ha - a little joke there - we had already torn apart.
Who said mountains are made from molehills? I think our breakup started with molehills 3 or 4 yrs ago and now we have the Andes running between us. We are both past the point of no return & just want it over with so we can get on with what is left of our lives. I went for a session with a solicitor today & by the time she had finished, I was a nervous wreck. I didn't realise there was so much to do & so much could go wrong & get screwed up.
I can see we are going to have fun with the full, frank and clear disclosure of our circumstances further down the line.
If you've not already guessed, I like a good chat & could do with a little support so don't be shy !
Got to go - life goes on & I'm starving - see you all later.
bloomp.

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08 Jan 08 #10247 by Specialdad
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The easiest and cheapest way is get the petition in and while you wait for the Decree Nisi, try mediation for sorting out the financial settlement.

Then get a Consent Order and the Decree Absolute a couple of years down the line.

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10 Jan 08 #10385 by bloomp
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Thanks for the advice - a couple of years for an absolute is scary - my solicitor recons 6 months to the absolute if we can keep our cool. Since we have a partnership business as well as the house, I can see us needing a calm sea and following wind to get through without scars & prolonged agony. I need to see the stbx shortly as the accounts for the business need signing off & submitting before 31/01/08 so there's a chance to progress the proceedings - the accountant is providing a valuation & I'll be buying my stbx out from my part of the marital home sale. (sounds so easy doesn't it ?).

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10 Jan 08 #10392 by loobyloo
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Bloomp
sorry bout your situation but you seem pretty philosphical(spelt wrong)
when i started proceedings back in march i thought would be easy, until finance rears its ugly head and people turn nasty... I have had a personality transplant and im a totally different person to when this started... im worn out but was told to expect it by sol. I am on final stretch now hopefully with finances gone to final hearing be after easter
then whateveroutcome i can be absoluted and get on with rest of my life
my thoughts and will help if i can
looby

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10 Jan 08 #10396 by gone1
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loobyloo wrote:

I have had a personality transplant and im a totally different person to when this started... im worn out but was told to expect it by sol. I am on final stretch now hopefully with finances gone to final hearing be after easter
then whateveroutcome i can be absoluted and get on with rest of my life
my thoughts and will help if i can
looby


I think this process does change us. I dont take risks anymore and I have people issues. I dont trust anyone even me. So I sort of hide away. I know its a temporary thing and I swing from one thing to another. I dont like being around people now. If I have to get in a lift with someone I wait for the next one. When I go to the smoking area I like to be alone there and I dont like conversing I just wana be in my own world. This is something new for me. I dont know why.

I have been on a "touched" purge since xmas. Anything that was remotely "touched" now is gone. I found a cup in a cupbourd and it said Nifty Fifty on it. Now I must have got that from her. Why its still here I have no idea. In the bin it went. I have no idea why I am behaving like this. Its odd for me. But I have this funny feeling that its temporary. People are strange.
Chris

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