A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Lines open: Monday to Friday 9am-5pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info


What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.


Need some urgent advice please

  • braindearth
  • braindearth's Avatar Posted by
  • Premium Member
  • Premium Member
More
14 Jan 08 #10638 by braindearth
Topic started by braindearth
We are still living in the same house with our 4 year old son while we wait for my wife and him to move out.

She wants to bring her bf (who she has known for 1 month) over for the weekend as i have to go on a business trip. We had an agreement that she would not do this while we are in the same house.

Mainly I do not think it is good for our son at a time when we are trying to maintain some stability for him.

Am i being over sensitive by objecting to this? What can I possibly do about it

  • gone1
  • gone1's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
14 Jan 08 #10651 by gone1
Reply from gone1
I would say no. I had this and it was the thin end of the wedge. I said no to this sort of thing. Her kids (they were ours at the time) were on the phone giving me verbal about it but I stood my ground but she wore me down eventualy. By October she had moved him in and I was in the garage. But your ex may not be like that. Cant she her bf at his house?

I would not have any of that nonsense. Chris

  • Vail
  • Vail's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
14 Jan 08 #10653 by Vail
Reply from Vail
Braindearth,

You are not being overly sensitive at all. It is on ething to agree that a marriage has failed but it is another thing altogether to start bringing in a boyfriend.

Mate, you exist, you have a life, you have feelings and you ought to consider whether you might not also have a right to some respect.

  • ToxieDogg
  • ToxieDogg's Avatar
  • Senior Member
  • Senior Member
More
17 Jan 08 #10919 by ToxieDogg
Reply from ToxieDogg
In one way, you ought to consider yourself lucky that you've been warned, my STBX wife had her boyfriend (and his 12 year old son) over at our place between Xmas and New Year while I was away visiting my family trying to come to terms with my first Xmas alone. I only found out because she didn't cover her tracks properly so I started asking questions and literally had to drag the truth out of her. It has strengthened my resolve to leave at least, I'm moving out for good this Saturday.

You are not unreasonable to object to your wife bringing the new guy over, as Vail says you have a right to some respect. Whatever happens, you should not be expected to just accept her doing that while you are still living there and I would go even further and suggest that she's got a cheek for suggesting it in the first place.

  • IKNOWNOW
  • IKNOWNOW's Avatar
  • User is blocked
  • User is blocked
More
17 Jan 08 #10998 by IKNOWNOW
Reply from IKNOWNOW
Thought I would give you a female perspective, although really it is no different to the guys who have already commented.

I think your wife has no regard for you or your 4 yo son. To say that would confuse your son is an understatement. Considering she has only known this man for a month I would question whether she really knows what she is doing.

You certainly are not being over sensitive. I would make it clear to her that you are in no way happy about what she will be putting your son through emotionally and that you feel she is putting her wants before the needs of her son.

I really cannot understand how people can put anyone other than their children top of their list when facing seperation and divorce. I know situations aren't always ideal but there are certain situations which are not necessary. If this guy is going to be a long term thing then he should have the respect for your son and give him time to come to terms with the split before coming on the scene. As for your wife I think she needs to take a long hard look at herself.

Regards, Sarah

  • IKNOWNOW
  • IKNOWNOW's Avatar
  • User is blocked
  • User is blocked
More
17 Jan 08 #10999 by IKNOWNOW
Reply from IKNOWNOW
Thought I would give you a female perspective, although really it is no different to the guys who have already commented.

I think your wife has no regard for you or your 4 yo son. To say that would confuse your son is an understatement. Considering she has only known this man for a month I would question whether she really knows what she is doing.

You certainly are not being over sensitive. I would make it clear to her that you are in no way happy about what she will be putting your son through emotionally and that you feel she is putting her wants before the needs of her son.

I really cannot understand how people can put anyone other than their children top of their list when facing seperation and divorce. I know situations aren't always ideal but there are certain situations which are not necessary. If this guy is going to be a long term thing then he should have the respect for your son and give him time to come to terms with the split before coming on the scene. As for your wife I think she needs to take a long hard look at herself.

Regards, Sarah

  • bridget de jour
  • bridget de jour's Avatar
  • Junior Member
  • Junior Member
More
18 Jan 08 #11022 by bridget de jour
Reply from bridget de jour
As a woman, i find this disgusting! i cant beleive anyone would be so insentive as to bring their 'lover' to the marital home (then again reading posts on here I am obviusly naive)

She has no respect for you and indeed obviously no regard for what messages this sends out to your son.

You are not being over sensitive at all you are completely NORMAL.

My heart goes out to you and I hope you are ok

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11

The modern, convenient and affordable way to divorce.

No-Fault Divorce £179

We provide the UK's lowest cost no-fault divorce service, managed by a well respected firm of solicitors. 


Online Mediation £250

Online mediation is a convenient and inexpensive way to agree on a fair financial settlement.


Consent Order £259

This legally binding agreement defines how assets (e.g. properties and pensions) are to be divided.


Court Support £250

Support for people who have to go to court to get a fair divorce financial settlement without a solicitor.