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Can I just take my children?

  • loobyloo
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15 Jan 08 #10758 by loobyloo
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JACKO
some of us have taken that plunge.... and have a b....d x2b ..... allsituationsdifferent and in 42 case please dont judge... the man is happy and not all the same... keep lateral mate and dont judge
love and regards
looby

  • mike62
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15 Jan 08 #10759 by mike62
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Looby,

You are absolutely right, every situation is different and your stbx is the sh*t from hell.

But Jacko isn't being judgemental, he is just pointing out to 42meaningoflife that it is not necessarily 'in the bag' as far as his children are concerned. Following on from Sadie's sage comments about mixing two sets of similarly aged children who don't know each other yet without a period of testing and adjustment.

It just isn't going to be plain sailing.

I fully accept that after a failed relationship, we are likely to move on. But we need to consider our children's wishes, needs and reactions before forcing such a dramatic change upon them.

Mike

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15 Jan 08 #10763 by Fiona
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It definitely isn't plain sailing amalgamating two families.

The statistics for the breakdown of step-families are typically 50% in the first year and one factor associated with poor long term outcomes for children is the multiple change of the family structure.

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15 Jan 08 #10768 by Jacko
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loobyloo wrote:

JACKO
some of us have taken that plunge.... and have a b....d x2b ..... allsituationsdifferent and in 42 case please dont judge... the man is happy and not all the same... keep lateral mate and dont judge
love and regards
looby


Mike thank you for your words you are bang on the nail.

Sorry loobyloo I think you misunderstand me completely if you have read any of my posts this now the 3rd in this thread please read my 1st you might see were im coming from.

You quite rightly point out every situation is different i have said in a previous post above I obviously don't know his full story or yours for that matter.

It quite clearly has touched a raw nerve with you!! you say I shouldnt judge I didn't think I had in the posts above I merely state my own personal predicament in a not so disimilar situation.

It seems you judge me

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16 Jan 08 #10784 by loobyloo
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Mike,yes i know that.... thanks as always your description of my x2b bang on,... wasnt being personal to jacko but 42 is obviously in a distressed and unhappy state and having been in that situation it does hit a nerve .
you always say such wise things mike..thanks


jacko, i have been on here since 10th oct and never judged or argued with anyone and i apologise if you felt i was judging you but be assured i respect EACH and EVery persons opinion on here ..regards
looby

  • 42 the meaning of life
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16 Jan 08 #10829 by 42 the meaning of life
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Hasn't anyone here seen "The Brady Bunch"? :laugh:

Joking aside, please don't argue over my predicament. All of your advice and thoughts have been valid and worthy, especially when, as you say, you don't necessarily know all the facts and background.

FACT - I was intending to take my girls and leave anyway.
FACT - the fact that I've met someone else in the meanwhile has serously muddied the water and has made the original reasons seem blurred and confused.
FACT - having the new partner to be has raised several complications, but has also answered several questions and made several decisions very easy for me.
FACT - her kids and mine do already know each other and get on very well, not to say that it wouldn't be all very different in a 'living together household' situation.

Happy, unhappy, divorced, separated or just thinking of running away, you never do know when that perfect person is going to crash into your life.:side:

You might not believe that 'perfect partners' or Soulmates actually exist, or that it will ever happen to you, or that it will turn your life and everthing you thought you believed and trusted in upside down should it happen.
You might be very happy on your own for once. Looking forward to a bit of 'me' time, without anyone to get in the way or have to worry about. Or you might be signed up with a dozen dating agencies and actively looking all the time.
Usually when you are least expecting it, or the timing is crap and the situation is really awkward...Hello! There they are.

If it does happen to you, for Goodness sake grab it! Grab it straight away with both hands and go with it. You only live once and you might not ever get the chance for happiness again.

p.s. Thank you Loobyloo for acting in my defence, as it were, whilst I was offline recently. This lady DOES know what I am talking about!:cheer:

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16 Jan 08 #10833 by loobyloo
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42the meaning...
I whole heartedly agree with YOU.... maybe some people havent experienced what we at this point are, and f they where to do, would thier views and slant on some situations be altered
You must do what you feel right and kids bicker all the time so step brothers and ssters not getting on 100% of the time in my experience is bang on normal...my two love to love and love to hate as i did with my siblings
my best to you again
looby

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