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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.


Can I just take my children?

  • Specialdad
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15 Jan 08 #10709 by Specialdad
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Best answer I have ever read from you attila. Keep up the good work.

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15 Jan 08 #10711 by loobyloo
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42
I am the mothe r of 2 aged 10 and 8. I petitioned for divorce and my x2b refused point blank to move saying house big enough for us both (pretty strong reasons for not wanting to be under same roof as him) as he has a responsible position i did not persue his behaviour through the criminal depts (regret now)
I to coincidently met someone else who offered us a haven 120 miles away, so in june after sorting out kids schools etc moved
Since moving hes seen kids once or twice , not at all since august, he is dragging heels and digging them in through marital assets and maintanace
On the other side my kids are very happy and settled they love new schooland are being kids for first time in their lives...each situation is different and i plead you to think hard as kids need their mums and dads
I wish you all the very best in your new relationship..some things are meant to be...I maybe was impulsive but it seems ok so far just not as well off....yet
regards and take heed of exellent advice offered on here
looby

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15 Jan 08 #10712 by loobyloo
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42
I am the mothe r of 2 aged 10 and 8. I petitioned for divorce and my x2b refused point blank to move saying house big enough for us both (pretty strong reasons for not wanting to be under same roof as him) as he has a responsible position i did not persue his behaviour through the criminal depts (regret now)
I to coincidently met someone else who offered us a haven 120 miles away, so in june after sorting out kids schools etc moved
Since moving hes seen kids once or twice , not at all since august, he is dragging heels and digging them in through marital assets and maintanace
On the other side my kids are very happy and settled they love new schooland are being kids for first time in their lives...each situation is different and i plead you to think hard as kids need their mums and dads
I wish you all the very best in your new relationship..some things are meant to be...I maybe was impulsive but it seems ok so far just not as well off....yet
regards and take heed of exellent advice offered on here
looby

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15 Jan 08 #10713 by loobyloo
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42
I am the mothe r of 2 aged 10 and 8. I petitioned for divorce and my x2b refused point blank to move saying house big enough for us both (pretty strong reasons for not wanting to be under same roof as him) as he has a responsible position i did not persue his behaviour through the criminal depts (regret now)
I to coincidently met someone else who offered us a haven 120 miles away, so in june after sorting out kids schools etc moved
Since moving hes seen kids once or twice , not at all since august, he is dragging heels and digging them in through marital assets and maintanace
On the other side my kids are very happy and settled they love new schooland are being kids for first time in their lives...each situation is different and i plead you to think hard as kids need their mums and dads
I wish you all the very best in your new relationship..some things are meant to be...I maybe was impulsive but it seems ok so far just not as well off....yet
regards and take heed of exellent advice offered on here
looby

  • 42 the meaning of life
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15 Jan 08 #10725 by 42 the meaning of life
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Thank you so far to all of you you have replied to my post. I have really appreciated all the different stand points and opinions.

In the ideal world this whole website wouldnt exist. But in the real world there is a need for it. In the real world, people do sometimes meet other people who they fall in love with, and sometimes the timing and the circumstances are far, far from ideal.

To answer a few questons that were raised. My new partner to be already has similarly aged children so knows exactly what she is entering into. She is offering me a haven which happens to be a long way away. I can't do anything about that. That's life. Its all a mess and full of problems but we have a goal which we are still determined to strive towards. It wont be easy and it will take time and its going to be horrendously painful, stressful and crappy. Is there really ever an easy divorce?

It really shouldn't be allowed, mixing Love and Legal, in the same way that in many societies politics and religion are kept well apart! But then love, marriage, children, houses, homes, seperations and divorce form a very complicated and intertwined network of laws, emotions, instincts and commitments. Like a huge ball of tangled wool, it can only be slowly unravelled and taken to pieces, but will get there in the end. Then you can knit something new that you like and fits!

I am going to very carefuly try and sort out the predicament I have found, or some might say, placed myself in.

I shall continue to read any further replies with great interest.

Thank you all again for your honest opinions.

42

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15 Jan 08 #10752 by sexysadie
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If your new partner has similarly aged children then you have two sets of children whose lives are going to be completely disrupted if you move in together. Don't underestimate the implications. The children may not get on. They may resent having other children of their age wanting their stuff. It is possible that faced with this possibility your older child will refuse point blank to come with you - and she will be old enough for her wishes to be taken into consideration if it comes to court. It is possible that your partner's children would be horrified at sharing their lives with yours and would show it openly - how would you feel about that? I would tread very very carefully and have a lot of shortish meetings over a long period (by this I mean months at least) before even trying to form a full-time blended family.

Sadie

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15 Jan 08 #10755 by Jacko
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I have to agree with what Sadie has just said.

It seems you have a vision of renewed matrimonial bliss ahead of you? it seems you have thought about all the positives of a new life 100 miles away.

Have you thought about the negative aspects? and there has to be some! how often do any of our dreams turn out anything like we planned? do you realy think your children are going to buy in to it with no problems at all?

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