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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

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what do I do?

  • confusedbuthopeful
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14 Jan 08 #10663 by confusedbuthopeful
Topic started by confusedbuthopeful
My situation is that my 'huband' (Decree Nisi so far) had a long-term affair, wanted (apparently) to get back together but I after much heart-searching decided 'no'.
What complicates matters is that until recently (11 months of divorce proceedings) we ran our own company and were co-directors. He has now started a new company (he is the business by the way I was the administrator/gofer) probably in order to sell it and go down the non-maintenance route.
My barrister has recommended the maintenance and pension-sharing option, I would rather go for a Clean Break as would most women I imagine.
I am furious that he has squeezed me out of my job as well as turning my life and that of our daughters upside down.
I'm not at all sure that solitor (No. 4) and barrister are taking my loss of employment and status seriously so am considering employment tribunal.
At any rate after 25 years of marriage we seem intent on destroying each other. I can't trust him - who could trust a 51 year old who gets dates online (whilst still working and sometimes living in his end of the house) telling these poor desperate suckers that he's 47?
This all started on Feb 2nd 07 a long time ago it seems. Is this a typical length of time to get things sorted?
Whatever it's agony.
Any input from anyone welcome.
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  • Specialdad
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14 Jan 08 #10667 by Specialdad
Reply from Specialdad
Without disagreement it can be done within two years.

With disagreement, well how long is a piece of string.

Before court proceedings try mediation and see if you can get some agreement before going for full court proceedings.

  • LittleMrMike
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14 Jan 08 #10681 by LittleMrMike
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To claim unfair dismissal you have to be an employee. I am not clear what your exact status is, but it must be resolved as a preliminary issue.

In addition you have to have been dismissed. I know it sounds trite, but you can't be unfairly dismissed unless you have been dismissed. Sounds like your hubby has walked out on you and destroyed the company ; there is a possibility of what is known in the trade as ' constructive dismissal ' that is, conduct which is of such a nature that you would be justified in resigning your employment without notice. On the limited facts available to me, this looks at least possible. But there is, unfortunately, a nasty sting in the tail.

There is a time limit of three months to complain to a tribunal amd if you miss this deadline, this will almost certainly be fatal to your case. You need to investigate this URGENTLY.

Why, madam, do you want a Clean Break ? It looks as if your husband has left you in the lurch big time, so why
shouldn't he pay maintenance ? Your position in the labour market might be severely compromised and from what you say your earning capacity, compared to his, is likely to result in an inbalance in incomes. So again, why should you not receive maintenance ? And I'm afraid you are going to need to be clear about whether an employment tribunal is even an option for you. If it isn't, because of the time limit, then you may have no alternative but to go down the maintenance route.

What about your daughters ? How old are they, and where are they going to live ? Come to that, where are you going to live ? Is child support an issue here ? Looks to me as if his pension could be up for grabs. Your barrister may well be on the right lines.

The answer to the question as to how long it's going to take is that it could take a long time, but there is no hard and fast rule. If the issues are relatively simple, and the parties are still in a reasonable frame of mind, it can be done very quickly. But it can take years and unfortunately, where one party is being plain difficult ( or both ! ) then it can drag on interminably and the only winners are lawyers.

Good luck
Mike 100468

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14 Jan 08 #10682 by LittleMrMike
Reply from LittleMrMike
Sorry, a typo - should have said " Why do you NOT want a Clean Break ?

Oops !
Mike

  • attilladahun
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14 Jan 08 #10691 by attilladahun
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Don't forget after a very long marriage the Barrister & Solicitor's advice is much safer claiming maintenance (PPO) & a pension share

Ultimately if you eventually apply for a variation of PPO or to terminate the same the Court can award ANOTHER lump sum under s 31 MCA 1973

So if H sells Co for big lump sum you are again in the money!!
No second guesses with a Clean Break -payments made are merited.

With respect if you are paying for an experianced Counsel to represent you follow his/her advice its certain he/she is putting your best interest forward.

Problem with Clean Break.......calculated on "Duxbury" principle most H cannot truly afford it

Anor reason is H may realise you are a "catch" and will settle down again in the future.

What period is a CB calculated

Case law says Crt should not order unless you can adjust without undue hardship -can you???

Can H's business afford to have him take out £ to pay you off or can he afford the extra Mtge.

If a W lives to 85+ the PPO income stram is huge...with a poss further clain v H estate if he is still paying PPO at death.

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14 Jan 08 #10692 by attilladahun
Reply from attilladahun
Don't forget after a very long marriage the Barrister & Solicitor's advice is much safer claiming maintenance (PPO) & a pension share

Ultimately if you eventually apply for a variation of PPO or to terminate the same the Court can award ANOTHER lump sum under s 31 MCA 1973

So if H sells Co for big lump sum you are again in the money!!
No second guesses with a Clean Break -payments made are merited.

With respect if you are paying for an experianced Counsel to represent you follow his/her advice its certain he/she is putting your best interest forward.

Problem with Clean Break.......calculated on "Duxbury" principle most H cannot truly afford it

Anor reason is H may realise you are a "catch" and will settle down again in the future.

What period is a CB calculated

Case law says Crt should not order unless you can adjust without undue hardship -can you???

Can H's business afford to have him take out £ to pay you off or can he afford the extra Mtge.

If a W lives to 85+ the PPO income stram is huge...with a poss further clain v H estate if he is still paying PPO at death.

  • confusedbuthopeful
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15 Jan 08 #10772 by confusedbuthopeful
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Mike100468
Thanks for your comments. I was pleasantly surprised to hear from you and others so quickly. I note your advice but am a little puzzled by your comment 'why are you NOT considering a Clean Break?' although you said your first comment was a typo it made perfect sense in its context! So you've got me confused there (although as I wade through this new world of divorce and legal procedures that's a familiar state for me at present).
You sound knowledgeable - is this because you have been through the process or are you in the trade or both?
My situation is complicated not only by our having run a business together but by the fact that we are making the process so contentious (in my defence I did start out trying to go down the amicable route but after comments like 'it's everyone for themselves' and 'it's always going to be acrimonious' and many undeserved put-downs I entered into our present battle). We also own three properties and pieces of land and these are all in the melting pot. My solicitor has insisted on a proper valuation of the marital home by a chartered surveyor and this has now been done. The next stage is a 'round table' session to try and settle the finances to avoid it going to court.
The daughters are 21 just finished uni and will do her Masters next Sept. and 18 still at school and doing A levels.
If you have any other advice for me it will be gratefully received. Can't believe how needy I am.
M

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