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Help me please

  • govtepe1
  • govtepe1's Avatar Posted by
  • Junior Member
  • Junior Member
15 Jan 08 #10703 by govtepe1
Topic started by govtepe1
I just spoke to my solicitor today who finaly stopped my ex court proceding because I was the one who wanted divorce in the beggenning and my ex filed it before me ,
my solicitor is so slow i dont know why he even made it to come to this stage , he has my case for the last 5 months and nothing has happened, my ex wants 28 thousand from me , i dont think he deserves anything because he is making me pay every thing since the seperation.
M y solicotr is not pushing his solicitor so we can come up with and agreement . my ex is still in our flat and wont move out the occupational order apparently takes three weeks says my solicitor and its going to cost me 1500 pound, I paid my solicitor 2000 but he still want more money from me , and I want to just go and sit out side me flat till my ex leaves to go work , go and berak the door and change the locks cus I am very tyerd now , he gets leagl aid and I get nothing as a female I am left to stay at my parents and he gets to stay in my flat with his brother free of charge and makes me to pay everything, where is the justice in this , and I bet in court he will take 50% of me ,he also cheated on me and now lives in my flat with the girl too , i am so distressed , I am looking after them while I am the victim of all these ordeal. WHERE IS THE JUSTICE

  • TMax
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  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
15 Jan 08 #10704 by TMax
Reply from TMax
Ok the bad news is that Divorces can take up to 2 years or more to complete. Im on my 8th year .:(

My ex filed it before me ,
Why didn’t you do it yourself

”my solicitor is so slow”Again divorces take time, depts take time to get information back to them you have to remember that, there are a lot of people in the same boat as us and demanding info

“My ex wants 28 thousand from me”
How long have you been married, what are total assets ie saving, house, pensions, and so on what ever you both have that has a value. Nothing must remain hidden, you hide, and courts find out then face the consequences.
If total assets when you look at = share out of 50/50 and what he wants is under that figure get it on paper and signed in court that that is all he wants don’t fight it. And don’t give him money until after the final hearing FH.

“I Think he deserves anything because he is making me pay every thing since the separation. “
Unfortunately it doesn’t work like that sorry :(

My solicitor is not pushing his solicitor so we can come up with and agreement.
Get mediation going together its cheaper, see CAB they can give free advice.

“Ex is still in our flat and wont move out the occupational order apparently takes three weeks says my solicitor and its going to cost me 1500 pound, I paid my solicitor 2000 but he still want more money from me” ,
Again seek out the CAB they can advise, and you can if you can give as much info as possible get possible answers here.

“break the door and change the locks cus I am very tired now” ,
Not allowed its illegal :laugh:. But some people do do it :)

“he gets leagl aid and I get nothing as a female”,
I take it you are working then, if not then you are equally allowed and entitled to legal aid too, depending on wage you can also get legal aid if it is low.

“He stay in my flat”,
You shouldn’t move out,

“with his brother free of charge” if he is staying there then make him pay rent or get him evicted

“Makes me to pay everything,” well inform the electric the gas and tell them that you are no longer living in the house, give them meter readings and stop paying it, if your responsible for mortgage then discuss with the people you had lone off what they can help you with.

Inform council who is living in the flat and that you have moved out so you dont pay council tax.

An unfought divorce is normaly no more than £1500 check with other soliciters.

  • Shepherd
  • Shepherd's Avatar
  • Senior Member
  • Senior Member
15 Jan 08 #10707 by Shepherd
Reply from Shepherd
Hello Govtepe1.

Where is the justice indeed ! I completely sympathise with your situation, I was driven out of my home and my xw2b has since moved my much younger replacement in. She now lives there with him, with my two beautiful children and is extremely cocky with me.

I can only share my own experience with you in order to perhaps give you an insight as to what I did which I feel bears a similarity to your situation.

I filed for divorce back in June last year and to date I’ve paid my solicitor just slightly over a thousand pounds, he charges £150 + vat / hour. Obviously it depends how much work your solicitor has done for you already, but after only five months 2k does seem a little bit excessive. When I got my Invoice, I had a breakdown of work that he had done for me. I wish I could charge £15 per phone call, and a further £15 for writing a letter. I’m moving into the realms of settlement with my xw2b now which is going to be fun and no doubt costly to say the least. You see she’s burying her head in the sand and won’t contact her solicitor, she also won’t talk to me about any kind of settlement, she just wants it all. As usual with her, its all or nothing, cake and eat it sort of thing.

Ok, in reference to your bills and paying for the flat. Most of my bills were all set up by Direct Debit and prior to leaving my xw2b, we transferred them all over into her name with her bank details. However until recently one of the bills were still in my name and surprise surprise it was that bill my xw2b ran up and didn’t pay. What I had to do was I gave her notice and said that I was cancelling the account to which then she would have to take steps towards opening a new account in her name, or be cut off. To be on the extra save side also, in the earlier days I made sure any prior Direct Debits for utility bills at my bank were cancelled. This ensures I definitely wasn’t still paying for her bills. Like yourself, I was thinking to myself why should I pay bills which her and my younger replacement are benefiting from, its just isn’t right is it, I wasn’t going to do it FULL STOP.

As for your Ex wanting 28k from you when he’s living in the former home with you paying all the bills, I feel he’s living in cloud cookoo land, what a cheek! Talk about wanting his cake and eat, my xw2b is exactly the same. I would like some kind of settlement from my xw2b, but I’m probably going to have to wait a further 12 years for it until my children come of age. Meanwhile, xw2b lives with new partners IN MY HOUSE .. Like you I feel I’ve been totally shafted, and I’ve worked the last ten years for NOTHING. Like you say, where’s the justice.. there doesn’t seem to be any does there. I suppose, like SK.Callum has previously stated it does come down to a case of assets and liabilities, if there are children involved then like in my case the settlement favours the parent with care, the xw2b.

I hope you’ve been able to draw a little bit of insight from my situation. I wish you luck.

Best Regards,

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