She wants out and Im in Denial, I think...

Hello all, to make a not so long story shorter I will shorten the chain of events. mid November wifey-poo had a little emotional break down and verbally attacked her dad and mum, after they left started in on me. All this was brought on by being "depressed", things turned from bad to worse as she stated she no longer loved me didnt enjoy sex anymore and wanted out. this was said on a regular basis but was also followed by "sorry it nothing you have done, I cant help the way Im feeling", then for days before x-mas came home early to find "just a friend" having tea in my kitchen (yes a guy), then the 100.00 mobile bill and of course the new undies. She swears nothing is going on and keeps saying he is just a friend. Anyway things obviously have been deteriorating and have gotten to the point she moved out of the family home to move into her mums and will be getting a council flat in mid feb. Her behavior has been erratic and emotionally driven. I am under the impression that she is depressed but she will not admit it and states quite the opposite she is fine and feels good about her decision. I may be in denial but we have been together for 8 years and no her like the back of my hand. Her behaviour is nothing like I have seen before. Ripping up photos of her and I and smashing all glass in photo frames, saying hurtful things, not having any compassion in regards to how I am feeling or what has been done, also being physicialy agressive towards me (I am a very passive person and I assure you I have not antagonized the situation). I dont want a divorce she does. I filed for divorce as a premtive measure to protect myself on Jan 2 (national divorce day). She obviously now wants everything to go through solicitors and has broken all communication. I think she is seriously depressed but she will not admit it so as she thinks not problem will not seek help, or again I could just be in denial. She refuses mediation or counciling, and just wants out. is it really over? is there hope? am I in denial? how do I get her to a shrink and get her to open up and possibly if she is, get her to admit she has an issue? how do I drag this out in hopes that she comes around or is that even worth doing? is there anything I can do to save this if she doesnt want to? What should I be doing to protect myself legally and finanically?

Its only over when one of you says it is. Looks like she has said her bit. I think she could be planning to shack up with the bloke in the kitchen. U never know. What to do. Best thing is do nothing for a while. Thats what I would do. Just see how it all pans out. It may all blow over and you may get your wife back in a couple of months. Dont do anything drastic. Chris