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What do i do, I am going insane

  • bellister
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21 Jan 08 #11378 by bellister
Topic started by bellister
i understand probaly what will happen in divorc ie both end up with 50 50. Still he sits in the house ringing his lover, even tried to show me a picture of her !!!!
I lost it one night and had a slanging match he recored all of this and now says he wants money or he releases the tape to his solicior. Nothing on it its just a slanging match , but i worry over everything and he knows it. He knows i have proof of his affair and he keeps search my room ect , he will never find it no their. But how on earth do i stop him ringing his lover in front of me !!!

  • sexysadie
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21 Jan 08 #11382 by sexysadie
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I don't know how you can stop it but I do feel for you. Ringing his lover when you are around is just plain insensitive and disrespectful.

Don't worry about the tape if it is just a slanging match. I expect most solicitors have heard it all before. In any case, he is blackmailing you, which I believe is illegal. Don't give into him. He is just being nasty.

Best wishes,
Sadie

  • twinks
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21 Jan 08 #11384 by twinks
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Ram the phone down his throat :angry:What a total beep. Make sure that anything that would be used is not in the house, and have a copy as well. I am having to do that at the moment.

I dont know the legal side so i am sure others will advice with that, but cn you get a lock on your bedroom door? I thought that you werent allowed to tape someone without them knowigng, maybe i am wrong, but if i am right, then surely he cant use that anyway.

One bit advice i can give you is, even though its a nasty thing for him to do and it hurts you, dont let the sod see you getting upset. HUGS xx

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21 Jan 08 #11385 by twinks
Reply from twinks
Ram the phone down his throat :angry:What a total beep. Make sure that anything that would be used is not in the house, and have a copy as well. I am having to do that at the moment.

I dont know the legal side so i am sure others will advice with that, but cn you get a lock on your bedroom door? I thought that you werent allowed to tape someone without them knowigng, maybe i am wrong, but if i am right, then surely he cant use that anyway.

One bit advice i can give you is, even though its a nasty thing for him to do and it hurts you, dont let the sod see you getting upset. HUGS xx

  • suzy_sue46
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21 Jan 08 #11390 by suzy_sue46
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It`s difficult, I`d get anything you didn`t want him to see locked up, my stuff was in a lockable filing cabinet and I password protected my PC too, or took it round to my mums. the others are right do not let him see that he`s getting to you, it`s all about point scoring and if you can come out of this with your dignity in tact you`ll be a winner. Keep your chin up and I`m sorry he`s being such a pratt

Sue

  • Monitor441
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21 Jan 08 #11399 by Monitor441
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I'm not sure of your situation with regards to kids and child care etc, but when I found out about my ex2b's affair, whilst we were still living together, we agree that we each had three nights a week out. This meant the kids were looked after and I didn't have to be anywhere near her.

On her nights out she went out with her boyfriend and on my nights out I went to the gym or went to see friends. The gym was great as I could take out my anger on the machines and I lost 20 lbs and looked and (physically) felt so much better.

Before I left the FHM, I was sleeping on the sofa bed in the lounge and do remember hearing her talking to her boyfriend in bed (in the bedroom above me)and being upset at this the first couple of times. But,in my case, it soon passed as I realised that I was much better off without her

Good luck with it

Mon

  • yferch
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21 Jan 08 #11402 by yferch
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Whether you have proof of his affair or not doesnt really matter unless you are going to divorce him for adultery, he denys it and you need the circumstantial evidence. Just divorce him for unreasonable behaviour instead a lot easier. I wanted to divorce my ex for adultery due to the principal but decided it was easier to go for UB also listing the adultery amongst other things.

He is playing power games with you, I know it hurts and you feel he is being disrespectful to you. When he phones her in front of you walk out the room, if he shows you her photo say 'she looks nice' or act bored, hopefully he'll get fed up of taunting you when he does not get the reaction he wants. Same with his emotional blackmail.

It is very hard to remain dignified in these circumstances, I know been there, but you will be so glad at the end that you did.

(Mind you after saying all that I sadly I lost the plot one day when I saw them together and slapped him, he then decided to charge me with assault, which was dropped. Made me feel better at the time though.)

Karma or what goes around comes around as my granny said.

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