My husband has just left me for another woman after 24years of marriage. Yesterday whilst I was at work he came home to collect some of his things but whilst he was there he cleaned the house, did the washing and left me a note saying that he will come back today for some more of his things and whilst he's there he will do the ironing and do some work in the garden. He has sent e-mails to all his friends saying that leaving me was the best thing he has ever done and that the woman he is now living with is the love of his life and that he is the luckiest and happiest man in the world. So can anyone tell me waht he's playing at as he is doing my head in.
24 years is a long time. Even though he has left you for another woman, he obviously has some feelings towards you still. He feels as guilty as hell. He is just trying to appease his guilt, by doing some things for you that he thinks you would appreciate. I am sure that it is doing your head in! The shock of his departure is bad enough, never mind him 'trying to help'. Perhaps in months to come you might appreciate him doing your garden, but right now you need to get used to his leaving. He is just perpetuating the pain for you. Tell him, but nicely, that you don't want him to do these things for you at the moment.
Time is a great healer.
Its guilt pure and simple. He feels guilt for leaving you and he thinks that putting the hoover and duster round will aleaviate the guilt he feels. Typical. I would tell him not to bother and all his stuff is in the road. Thats a bad way to treat you are 24 years of loyal service. But all that glitters is not gold. Remember that. Chris.