when does the good life begin again, 25 years thrown out as trash by my wifes lies, deciept, and betrayal with who you thought was a trusted friend, trusted around you and your family. "It just happened" they say,"couldnt stop" they say. "didnt just happen" i say, "didnt want to stop" i say, "good ridance" i say. Trouble is its burning me up, emotions, hatred, bitternes, you name it swirling around everyday. She goes, she comes, she stay she does not, " always here for the kids she says, " never here for the kids" i say. So the road to happiness has come to a T junction , am i at a dead end or will it be left or right:unsure:
life does get better but it takes time we have all been in your situation like the old saying goes...there is light at the end of the tunnel...plus at the T junction go and turn left or right does not matter it will get better both ways!! i had the same feelings as yourself hatred, bitterness and everything else that goes with it all, but belive me you will get there!!
thx gooner! trouble is have not even got to the tunnel yet, i want to tear him apart, but thats too good, i want to show him what pain feels like deep in the heart, so deep that you cant get to it to fix it, and her , how do i stop loving her but hating her at the same time, how do i tell her the kids thinks she is so stupid! why do i have to deal with all of this , while they smell roses around each other!
its understandable that you feel like that mate...but dont beat youself up over it, just be strong for yourself and your kids!! no doubt there feeling the pain too. i found the best thing that i did was just get on with your life and your kids and that will hurt your stbx knowing that you can have a better life with you kids without her!! (sorry for harsh words) and it will be you that ends up smelling of roses not your stbx or the muppet shes with.
I'm so sorry noname that yet another person is standing in those terrible shoes that don't fit. It will get better despite yourself. Your kids do know somehow they seem to know and understand far more than you realise.
You are not alone, when you lie awake seething you are in good company. You will sleep again, you will laugh again and eventually you will pity their lies and their moral weakness.
Please have the believe me I was where you are 17mths ago. I recieveed my deree absolute today, thought it would floor me. It didn't I am still me, I still miss him but lost the good man years ago, she is stuck with the graet pretender. They are just fooling themselves that they are happy and they have found someone wonderful. Wonderful people don't mess around with married people.
Time flies as they say and soon you too will be giving advise to people like you.
Be strong at least you can look at yourself in the mirror every. It doesn't seem like much but soon you see that it means everything.
Take care x
Your're getting alot of replies tonight and I hope they're helping. I'm doing alot of reacting to people's stories and I guess it's helping me too in a wierd sort of way in that there's others out there going through similar agony.
I'm shocked at the level of hatred and bitterness I've felt towards my creep of a husband (after 26 years of marriage) but I've had to learn to control it. Believe me I can join the ranks of those women who have hit the headlines for their vengeful actions!
I have to believe it will get better, I've learnt to be thankful for my kids, I know they're suffering too (but suppose we hadn't had any then I'd really be alone and OK they're not little but have amazed me with their resilience and the support they've offered).
Anyway whatever hapens to you next good luck and stay strong.