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cant get him out of my head

  • ahorriblemess
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24 Jan 08 #11741 by ahorriblemess
Topic started by ahorriblemess
My x2b left me and my 3 children in April 07, he was having an affair and left me after being together 25 yrs married for 18. They have now moved in together and are having a great life just the 2 of them. The trouble is even though he has hurt me beyond belief and the fact that I have never felt so much pain I STILL LOVE HIM AND LONG FOR HIM TO COME HOME, which i know will never happen. I dont like the word but 'hating' the other woman and blame her for everything even though it was his doing also - I can't seem to move on with my life and if it wern't for my children I am 100% certain i would not be here today still having to endure this pain.:(

  • loobyloo
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24 Jan 08 #11743 by loobyloo
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its awful the pain your suffering , but read posts on here everyone has visited , or still, or about to suffer same as you
you have the kds some dont even have that
try to focus on the positives and you dont need a cheating rat like that in your life
put your slap on and get out there keep pecker up mrs

  • Mrs Ingledew
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24 Jan 08 #11771 by Mrs Ingledew
Reply from Mrs Ingledew
We live parrallel lives. Mine left in June 07 after 18 yrs of marriage 24 being together for a friend(!) of mine

go to counselling. Write down everything he ever did bad to you and pin it where only you can see it.

I can't get mine out of my head either but not because I love him. Because I can't belive the man I knew for all that time is the man I now see. I still care for him and care about what happens to him but I don't love him.

take care and give yourself time.

  • Ladybelle
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24 Jan 08 #11775 by Ladybelle
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It's very hard I know. I was like you for a short time, but now I am like tayl - I cant believe he did this. I cant believe the man I shared my life with for 27 years has done this to me, and is now moved straight in with another woman !! where I will never be with another man again, and he probably will have a whole second life and I will have nothing.
I cant have any dealings with him right now, we dont speak. He is paying mortgage (at the moment) but we have no other communication. He barely speaks to the kids, and that is only via text message. The last contact we had was email which he then asks or tells me something then doesnt reply when I reply:angry:
Time does heal, I dont feel so raw, at least if I dont have any dealings with him I dont, but as soon as I hear anything from him I get all churned up again. I don tknow how I will cope with mediation or sorting out divorce or anything. I cant think much about that.

  • gone1
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24 Jan 08 #11782 by gone1
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Sorry to see U are suffering. But this is entirely normal. It can take ages to get over this and you may love him for the rest of your life.

Remember all that glitters is not gold. They may be having an awful time. You have no way of really knowing. They could be rowing a lot. He could be comparing. People do compare a lot. Not just women!! She may not be doing things the way you did them etc. What I am trying to get at is dont beat yourself up that you still love him. That means you are fundamentally a good person and have a good heart. That is so rare. Also don't think life for them is all roses round the door. People that have affairs and leave for another person usualy come unstuck later on because its all based on infatuation and lies.

In time you will get over this. Be kind to yourself and be a good mum to your kids. Be true to yourself and others will be true to you. Be strong, Chris.

  • Mush
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24 Jan 08 #11787 by Mush
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Jo, I know there are many many many people that have been where you are now, both Men and Women. As Chris say's it may look like he is enjoying himself but i can bet he misses you too in some way... He probably knows that you still want him, so feels pretty good about his situation and very much in control, the best thing you can do is to go out and enjoy yourself, have a fling, kiss a stranger, buy a drink for a man in bar that you think is good looking, just do anything that will make you feel happier than you are now. Believe me, there are men out there that are worth so much more than what you had and will make your life so much better than it is now... Take Care Jo and remember we're here for you... Mush :)

  • ahorriblemess
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24 Jan 08 #11788 by ahorriblemess
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Thankyou everyone for your support I really appreciate it.

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