Defending

Desi.

Personally I have no knowledge of defending a divorce and cross petitioning.
What i would say to you is " if you can get the rape and assault allegations taken out of the petition (and only if) I would not argue or defend the divorce, get it over with ASAP. It does not matter as far as I know who divorces who or for what ever reason, the court does not take any notice anyway, except where the reasons cited are bad enough conduct. Then its a different ball game. It makes a difference to the ancilliary relief side of things. (I cant actually explain what I mean by that at the moment, but i will find out, having read it somewhere and post it on here another time, but its more to do with the fact if you have children, if i remember rightly)
When I say get it over with ASAP, it must be awful for you being in the position you are and you need to move on with your life as soon as you can. Whilst I understand your wife may be having mental health issues, unless she wants, and admits she needs help, then there is really nothing you can do. The fact she did all this in a mega quick space of time, seems to me she knows what shes doing, even more so having worked in a legal firm.
If you spend months arguing your case (and like i said before, ONLY if they remove the rape and assault from the petition) Then get it over and done with as soon as you can. It can go on for years and years fighting things through the court, leaving you open to so many false allegations, time and time again.
Im glad you have a solicitor as I feel you in this postition need it more than most.
I wish you well for the future.
Kind Regards
Louise.
O and P.S... since the new cost rules came in in June 2006, both parties now have to pay their own costs. (but a Judge can still make one party pay the others costs if one can proove the other has been unreasonable in their dealings, i.e. failed to adhere to court hearings, witholding financial information,so it drags things on and on, ect ect)

I feel your position becomes stronger if you get the promised letter from the police.

If your wife is prosecuted for wasting police time your position is stronger still.

I am afraid all I can say is, you have a solicitor so take his/her advice.

Mike100468

My friend,


I am in exactly the same position, where my wife has instructed her solicitor to forward a petition that 1. Falsely accuses of domestic violence and excessive drinking and 2. that if I choose to defend it I will be expected to pay the costs of the divorce.

I too loved my wife very much and did everything for her but her insecure, paranoid and unrecognisable outburts and accusations slowly chipped my heart away. Menta illness has crossed my minds the more I meditated on everything that happened and I still wish that she seeks professional help as I would not want anyone to take an unchecked illness into their next relationship.

My solicitor mentioned that they need to get a clear understanding of what the 'COST POSITION' of my wifes solicitor is which I guess means getting it in writing that they will or will not expect me to pay my wifes costs depending on the decision I choose to take e.g. defend/undefended etc.

The cost position its seems could be decided due to my "ALLEGED CONDUCT" and could therefore count against me should I choose not to defend my wifes "ALLEGATIONS" so in light of this the judge may say I have to pay all the costs......so I'm told by my solicitor. So like you I'm stuffed whether I defend or not.

The more I learn about divorce law the more I am losing faith in this area of law and how people are allowed to abuse it.

Regards

Rayborn11

hi there,
i cant belive what you have been through its heart breaking, its so sad that the people you most trust allways hurt you so much,if this happend to me i would try my best to prove my innocence,no matter what because family are involved,to me it looks as she has some one else and wants to make her self look good for family so they feel for her and let her do as she wishes with the family support,i would trap her and record her every contact you possibally can with her,or try and ask some one who knows her if they can help you,
and remember try and stay strong coz you have to fight your way through and in the end you are going to be happy because justice will come,please be strong, good luck you deserve the best.......jina...

Thank you for all the feedback so far.

Some good news.... this week i recieved a call from the officer investigating the allegations my wife made and i was told that cps have dropped the case as there was no evidence for any of her allegations

thats the headache of the criminal side gone, just hope they will investigate my wife for false allegations of assualt & rape and for wasting police time as she has left so many flaws in her story by her lies

just have the civil side to mainly worry about now, i have a directions hearing at the end of this month where the judge in going to see if this can be resolved through negotiations before being defended, don't know how much can be done in a 15 minute hearing?

I have an ancinery relief hearing middle of september, i thought usually this is done after the divorce has been granted? My wife is either crazy or is being given stupid advice, in her ancinery relief application she wants something from my parents property, a freehold property thats always been in my parents name??? has she any right to this property??? we were married for exactly 2yrs, lived at my parents home until we saved for our own place, i have no interest in the property and we can never invested in to it.

I have done nothing to destroy this marriage, all i have done is give her unlimited love and financially supported her in every way. In return i have her get me arrested and accuse me of terrible things like assault & rape, and try to take any money, assets and respect i have

I want to get justice, i do not wish her to be able to divorce me with such false allegations!! She is making this so ugly, everyone around me are telling me i need to do the same.. 'not to be nice, the world doesn't work like that'.. problem is despite everything i love her too much to play ugly aswell, and think the legal system will give justice, am i wrong??

Desi,

Glad to hear that the allegations against you have been shown to be groundless. I had that problem 20 years ago but in the end it was all done by separation + consent.

I think the norm is that ancillary relief applications are dealt with between the Decree Nisi and the Decree Absolute.

The chances of your x2b making a claim against your parents' house are virtually nil unless she can show that it was all a contrivance designed to defeat her claims for financial relief, the burden of proof being on her.