Advice needed

I posted most of this last night on the property forum but only one reply so will do it here as well in the hope more people may see it and be able to help me.

x2b just informed me he will only pay mortgage until the division of assets is finalised (all sent via an email) - so far we have only separated, nothing has been said about divorce let alone officially. I was initially advised to let him continue paying what he would for as long as he would as that solicitor said that no court would make him pay SM for 22 years (what we have left on mortgage)
Since being on here I have read and learnt so much, and seen that SM CAN be set for long periods so I had hoped that I might get it granted.

Q1. I am agoraphobic and only able to work part time, and travel very limited area - and have been for over 20 years. I have just been granted DLA - which almost kind of rubber stamps it (as if 20 years of medical records werent enough) ... but what are the chances that a judge will make him pay the mortgage for 22 years. Can anyone advise, or give their experience.

Mitigating factors are - long marriage 25 years, his salary is 4 times as much as mine, his future earnings - plus a civil service pension of 29 years (he's only 46 now), standard of living before the split, and I do still have two children living at home - albeit adult - but they still live at home.

He is assuming the house will be sold, and he will get his share of the equity as he claims he has bills mounting. That is a load of b******* as he still has over £1200 a month to live on, plus he has moved in with his fancy piece in a very posh flat. I am left here feeding 3 adults and paying all the bills bar the mortgage, and on the breadline.

If I am forced to sell, I would never be able to afford to buy again, and could not afford a private rental, and on top of that, my mental health will absolutely deteriorate. Will any of this count with a judge ??

Any thoughts please.

Hiya Annie. Yes it will count. And in your favour to. When you get to ancillary relief you should enter consultants letter regarding your condition. Your future needs should be met. But you may be expected to work. With your condition you may not be able to. I would think that you will get SM for life or until you re-marry. Regarding your housing needs you could argue that SM should cover the bulk of your housing costs. As you are in receipt of DLA funding and possibly mobility, this will have to make up the rest.

Judges are starting to award open ended SM for people that have a poor financial outlook such as yourself. I wouldnt worry about it for now. U have a way to go yet. Good luck. Chris.

oh I wish you were a judge !! LOL ... that is the best most optimistic post anyone has ever done to me. I cant help but feel optimistic that I might get SM, but I just dont know. I cant let myself hope I might.
If I really thought I would, I would go ahead and file myself now for his adultery rather than wait for him. I am so scared the judge will just order the house sold though. So many unknowns and possibilities.
I do work part time now, as I have for 8 years. This has been the longest I have ever held down a job. I have just tried to increase the hours a bit and that has made me go downhill with my anxiety, I just cannot cope with more. And hypothetically, even if I worked full time at the shop, I would not earn enough to pay all the current bills.

Ironically, in an ideal world, I would love to leave this house and be able to start afresh somewhere else. I feel this house is tainted now anyway. But it is in my best and only logical interests to fight for SM as he wont be forced to pay for me to live anywhere else will he !! so I have to fight for my house. Can you move house in situations like this ? or will he only have to pay the mortgage on the FMH ?

Hi Annie. Glad I lifted your spirits. You should be OK. I doubt that you will have a tough time but dont count your chickens. I moved house just over a year ago. I couldnt live in the FMH as she had moved her BF in. So it is possible. I didnt want the FMH as it had been built to her taste which is not mine. Chris

hI ANNIE
JUST left meeting with sol this morning I think you really need to go and visit solicitor and get some advice to protect yourself
I have been advised that all assetts ie business cars marital home investment properties savings and pensions will be considered by the judge.
As I have 3 children my needs and theirs will be taken into account, I understand that Judges put needs of the children first.
You may find that at some stage you will have to consider selling the home to finance your split, but your income and his will be considered.
Do yourself a favour and get some advice most solicitors offer first consultation free.
Dont sit aroung waiting for your husband to act, protect yourself.
Good Luck
80s

I am seeing a sol on Friday morning so will have some more idea of how to proceed then. I cant sell the house because I will have nowhere to live or be unable to afford anywhere. I have no idea how I will pay any fees, but it cant come out of the house sale as I dont want to sell the house, but I can see it may come to that but I will fight to stay in the house and have him pay SM.

I am seeing a sol on Friday morning so will have some more idea of how to proceed then. I cant sell the house because I will have nowhere to live or be unable to afford anywhere. I have no idea how I will pay any fees, but it cant come out of the house sale as I dont want to sell the house, but I can see it may come to that but I will fight to stay in the house and have him pay SM.