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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.


What would you do ?

  • Ladybelle
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04 Feb 08 #12862 by Ladybelle
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attilladahun wrote:

In principle a 50% pension share is a no brainer
Similarly 50% of the other capital assets -so the decision is how H is to get his capital if you still want and need SM!!

H's income isn't huge and so you haven't a chance of getting SM anything like £500 per calendar month.

Now if H is living with GF in a home his housing needs are met so any pressure for you to pay H capital goes -he can always get a charge on the property that will be transferred to you -and it may be on a "Martin Order" basis only to be sold if you remarry/death/permanent cohabitation with waged person or further order cos of your health issues.

Now if you give H a more generous charge back in return for more SM (which you need) till retirement then you draw down pension.

In reality the children are going to really fund matters to an extent...the real brick wall is when they leave home....then in all probability you are looking at selling and buying (or renting a nice Housing Association) small flat that is cheaper to run.

If he is only 46 getting a SM order till retirement is a rare event nowadays.


There is no housing association homes around where I live - I have agoraphobia and cant travel remember, I havent been more than 10 miles in over 20 years. I have already contacted council and local housing association and was told I would not be eligible for a house with no dependent children, and I still wouldnt have any spare money a month to pay rent. And if I was forced to sell the house, I would have equity which would mean I wouldnt get housing benefit.
Why wouldnt I have a chance for £500 SM ? How am I supposed to live then ? That is the mortgage payment.
I dont go anywhere to meet anyone so will never remarry or live with anyone other than my children. My daughter will be living at home for probably many years to come.
I would be willing to give up all the pension if he gives up the house. Is that possible ? But I still need SM.

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04 Feb 08 #12869 by maggie
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Annie - sorry if you've already said - where's your husband living at the moment?

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05 Feb 08 #12880 by Fiona
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Annie,

By my rough calculation you should be entitled to about £8k worth of income support to help with the mortgage and council tax benefit a year giving you a total income of about £12+k. That's only a rough idea because I don't know how much DLA you receive but you can check it out yourself on;

http:// www.entitledto.co.uk

As I've said before the reality is your ex simply doesn't earn enough to make SM much of a likelihood. Sorry. But there are possibilities to offset equity against pension or your husband maintaining an interest in the home if you can find a way to manage the mortgage.

To that end it really would be in your interest to try and tackle the anxiety and agoraphobia the best you can and eventually increase your working hours. If you could learn some techniques to help you relax I think you would feel much more in control. Anxiety can be controlled by breathing and relaxation techniques, and by replacing negative thoughts with positive ones.

These methods are straightforward and can be learnt from books, the internet, video and audio tapes, through counselling. Often the techniques employed are based on the principles of cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT). Learning how to handle difficult situations and to stand up for yourself can make you feel more confident and, therefore, more relaxed.Taking exercise can help you cope with anxiety and feelings of tension, and make you sleep better.

  • Ladybelle
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05 Feb 08 #12907 by Ladybelle
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I wont get income support if I work, and I dont get council tax benefit because I have adult children living here. My son works for the Council Tax office so I know that for a fact.
It is the agoraphobia that is the killer. I have had 17 years of therapy on it, including CBT for 3. Nothing worked in the end the mental health unit said there was nothing further they could do for me. I started working 9 hours a week and slowly slowly built it up. It is the shop around the corner. I cannot get off t he estate and there are no other job opportunities here. I had been working 16 hours a week, until he left, then I went to 21 and have struggled ever since. My GP wants me to go back to 16 because I have gone very nervy ever since. The more I push to try things the backwards I go, and I will never go back to totally agoraphobic, unable to even go out the front door, crawling up the hall hysterical crying.
I have worked to a point where I am *normal* and can get out with help and can hold down a job. But I cant do any more.
Why wont he be forced to pay SM for the mortgage ? I dont understand that. There have been stories here of people who have paid SM for indefinite periods of time ?
I need to bring in an additional £500 a month now to pay the mortgage if he wont, (well £470) and in 3 years when Child number 1 moves out another £200.
He is the one in the wrong, why should I be made homeless when he has all his salary and new life ahead. I am the one here totally stranded now and unable to live any kind of normal life.
If I lose the house I lose my safety. I cant work if I have to move away, and I cant get anywhere because private rental is even more and I dont have any spare money a month at the moment.
Some days I get home from here, other days I go into a spiral of panic.

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05 Feb 08 #12908 by Ladybelle
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maggie wrote:

Annie - sorry if you've already said - where's your husband living at the moment?


He's moved in with the other woman in her flat. 200 miles away.

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05 Feb 08 #12911 by Ladybelle
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I absolutely have to keep this house. Is it possible that they will say Ok you can keep the house but you will have to pay for it ??
At that point I could contact mortgage company and say I needed some months off and try and sort something out ? There are no jobs here though. But I cant lose this house. I just cant:S

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05 Feb 08 #12922 by maggie
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Annie - I have no idea if this would work out in your circumstances - I have two grown up children living with me in the family home - I was freaked out by the idea of moving away from the place I'd lived in for so long- my ex refused to transfer the house into my name in exchange for keeping his whole pension.
The kids and I had the idea that together we could take out a mortgage in all our names to buy out my ex.so that the house became ours. It never got beyond that - just an idea.
By the way if anyone asked meif the kids made a cash contribution I said they didn't. Because they're over 18 they were more or less disregarded but it was taken as read that I would need a three bedroom house because they live with me.

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