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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

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The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

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Secret affair

  • chrisjoy
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06 Feb 08 #12982 by chrisjoy
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:(Help, need advice. My soon x2b is having an affair but will not admit it. He lives with her most part of the week. He is petitioning me on unreasonable behaviour grounds, all lies as he wants to be free to marry gf. How can I prove this is going on? His gf owns her house and works full time with no dependants. I do not work and have young dependants. Will the courts take into account her income when dividing assets? Can I counter petition him on grounds of adultery?

  • loobyloo
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06 Feb 08 #12989 by loobyloo
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No not the assets, but will on needs ie the housing needs for him are obviously met, but you need to prove that
It also would affect sm but unsure if you would be paying him anyway
looby

  • gone1
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06 Feb 08 #13010 by gone1
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Hiya CJ. You could cross petition but its a waste of your money. The div process is just that. It doesent matter who initiates it and who did what. Just be thankful that he is paying. Sign and return the petition. The money side of divorce is called ancilory relief. Either of you can start it. But I would wait until the petition has been signed and returned. You should apply for something call an Interim maintence order. This will give you some money whilst the AR process is being conducted.

As part of AR you should include his gf as she lessons his outgoings becuase she is providing housing. This decreses his outgoings. Talk to a solicitor. You may qualify for legal aid. All the best, Chris.

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06 Feb 08 #13014 by maggie
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Just to say that my former husband had been living in her rented house for the past two years at the time of the Consent Order ; he admitted cohabiting - she had Right to Buy as council tenant but he still got an order for £100,000 cash from the sale of the family home as a deposit for a house for himself and her of course.
He still lives with her in a rented council house on about £90,000 net a year income.

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07 Feb 08 #13113 by gone1
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Funny how some people get away with murder? I lost my share in the FMH and I had to pay an additional 30K. I hope she enjoys the new wealth. Not. ;)Chris

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26 Feb 08 #15133 by ToxieDogg
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ChrisM wrote:

Hiya CJ. You could cross petition but its a waste of your money. The div process is just that. It doesent matter who initiates it and who did what. Just be thankful that he is paying. Sign and return the petition. The money side of divorce is called ancilory relief. Either of you can start it. But I would wait until the petition has been signed and returned. You should apply for something call an Interim maintence order. This will give you some money whilst the AR process is being conducted.

As part of AR you should include his gf as she lessons his outgoings becuase she is providing housing. This decreses his outgoings. Talk to a solicitor. You may qualify for legal aid. All the best, Chris.


I agree with that, same thing happened to me with my ex having an affair then petitioning me for unreasonable behaviour. I didn't find concrete evidence of the affair (she was flatly denying it up until that point) until literally a couple of days after I signed the papers and sent them back though.

One thing I never understood was her fear of having her boyfriend name....her whole attitude was one of 'you can say what you like about me, but don't name him.' I remember the look of horror on her face when I first discovered what was going on and her first question was 'Are you going to counter-petition?' (I never did, I let her pay for it all) and we also had Facebook profiles set up.....I angrily posted a comment on my Facebook profile about their affair, and she emailed me (we were both at work at the time) to ask me to remove it. When I refused, she then asked me to at least edit it to take his name off....it was seemingly OK for me to expose her, but not him....when I refused, she then axed me from her Facebook friends list. Not that I wanted to stay on it after that :laugh:

It's weird....I didn't think that even if I had named him in any way that it would have made any difference at all. All it's done is made me really curious about what it is that he must be trying to hide...?

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26 Feb 08 #15135 by chrisjoy
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Hi, what is considered as concrete evidence? I don't have his new address with gf but know of its whereabouts. Also have a name. What else do i need to prove he is living with her???

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